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#420729 - 01/02/13 09:25 PM .
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
.


Edited by Life's A Dream (01/12/13 08:54 PM)

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#420730 - 01/02/13 09:31 PM . [Re: Life's A Dream]
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
.


Edited by Life's A Dream (01/12/13 08:54 PM)

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#420947 - 01/04/13 07:54 AM Re: This is hard to talk about, but I'll do my best. [Re: Life's A Dream]
Blessedcurse Offline


Registered: 06/05/12
Posts: 98
Since noone yet has answered to this very courageous posting I feel the need to say something.

Well, I think after your description of your feelings when in diapers I for the first time understand something about this. The feeling of being safe, of merging with inner child. Obviously it is something way more than just sexual fulfillment.

To me this sounds pretty much like my own need for bondage, wich nowadays is a bit more accepted as a very common fetish. When in bondage I, too, have feelings that have nothing to do with sexual fullfillment. I feel safe and held, in touch with a part of myself that is usually repressed. I feel that I can relax. I also feel that I would want to be in bondage a lot more often and that I would want others to know this side of me. Though I choose not to be public about this not to make others uncomfortable or myself vulnerable to predudice.

What I want to say is that I don't think your diaper obsession is weirder than any other need to go back to previous times in life and bond with inner children or reenact something or whatever. The diaper thing is no more strange to me than the need for bondage or violence or whatever else anyone might need to deal with.

Though I would strongly discourage any permanent changes in your bodily functions. You never know how you will change as a person in the future and constant need for diapers could be a huge problem. Just like I know it would not be good for me to engage in a real dangerous relationship even though I have a strong desire to do so. Fantasy and reenactment when you choose to is very different from not having a choise. But that's just my opinion.

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#420957 - 01/04/13 09:24 AM Re: This is hard to talk about, but I'll do my best. [Re: Life's A Dream]
Mountainous Buck Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/15/09
Posts: 1627
Loc: Minnesota
Why do you need our assent?

Go ahead.

As for "the rest of my life" decisions, I'd urge some perspective. I cannot commit myself to anything. For "the rest of my life".

I'd also encourage you to examine WHY this behavior interests you- we all have deep unmet needs that we seek out ways to fulfill them- and usually those ways are not truly fulfilling and only deepen our isolation and brokenness.

Here are some of those needs:

To be praised
To be included
To be touched
To be safe
To be desired
To be affirmed
To be desired

What do your really want for yourself ?
_________________________
We have to take responsibility for what we're not responsible for.

It doesn't matter where you've come from,
It matters where you go" Frank Turner

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#421012 - 01/04/13 07:30 PM . [Re: Life's A Dream]
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
.


Edited by Life's A Dream (01/12/13 08:26 PM)

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#421035 - 01/04/13 10:20 PM . [Re: Blessedcurse]
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
.


Edited by Life's A Dream (01/12/13 08:23 PM)

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#421036 - 01/04/13 10:26 PM . [Re: Mountainous Buck]
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
.


Edited by Life's A Dream (01/12/13 08:23 PM)

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#421055 - 01/05/13 12:40 AM Re: This is hard to talk about, but I'll do my best. [Re: Life's A Dream]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3739
Loc: South-East Europe
You know Life I've been into some forums where people are also in getting some very distributing changes that are more than thrilling for them. Later some are happy and some have had a lot of troubles. But in all cases it is very hurtful to track such developments for me. I was attracted and brought there by my destructive forces.
Those people there all have had terrible and compulsive drive to do it and to take unimaginable risks and they all are lost and like imprisoned to such fetishes.
Do I need to add that many of them are probably victims of sexual or some other abuse?

Can I be direct and ask you if you have arousal of idea of urination or defecation into diapers?

I tried to say on my first reply that my guts reacted on your post on diapers in other part of the board which means that I somehow recognized here some sorts of submissive feelings that my subconscious is looking when I'm full blown during my worst compulsive highs.
I hope you'll find your way to have some sort of control over it and be successful in developing your other skills needed for socialization, having more fun in open air, exercising and healthy living, finding job, finding love and so on....

Unfortunately we all have some sort of distractions left as scars of some traumas (not necessarily traumas of sexual abuse) that hold us preoccupied and distracted from using our full potential to live freely. And I found as main goal of therapy to be finding inner strength that will allow us to be free of such very unhealthy compensatory developments and coping mechanism. Unfortunately we all fooled many times so we think that we will be happy in letting that dragon out, in such cases it is not even "we" who are acting out but rather some sort of undeveloped entity that is more dysfunctional than functional.
Keep sharing with us!


Pero
_________________________
My story

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#421186 - 01/05/13 11:10 PM . [Re: peroperic2009]
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
.


Edited by Life's A Dream (01/12/13 08:22 PM)

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#421279 - 01/06/13 05:47 PM Re: This is hard to talk about, but I'll do my best. [Re: Life's A Dream]
Ken Singer, LCSW Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/24/00
Posts: 5781
Loc: Lyons, CO USA
Life:
I don't know if you are using the "full screen" option on the reply thing, but it's a lot easier to copy the sentences you want to highlight, and hit the " button above:
Quote:
Can I be direct and ask you if you have arousal of idea of urination or defecation into diapers?
but put the sentence/paragraph you want in between the quote/quote option.

Now about your post:
I've worked with a number of diaper fetish clients over the years. Sometimes it is a matter of comfort and other times it is arousing. Sometimes it is both. Either way, people are embarrassed to share this with others, including therapists. You need to find a therapist experienced in diaper fetishes if you want to better understand it and give it up. Wishing for incontinence is pretty drastic. You could learn to live with it or work on ways to change it.

The technical term is "infantilism" and you may look it up in Wikipedia or google it (you may need to use google scholar to avoid ads for sites such as adult diaper world or other such places.)

Good luck with this.
_________________________
Blissfully retired after 35 years treating sexual abuse

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