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#421284 - 01/06/13 06:22 PM * [Re: Randy65]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 2217
*


Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (04/29/13 01:53 PM)

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#421303 - 01/06/13 09:32 PM Re: What is the dumbest thing you've been told? [Re: Randy65]
jay75 Offline


Registered: 07/23/12
Posts: 145
Here is one for you all. I wouldnt call it dumb but WOW...

Wife: So do you think the CSA caused you to have sexual dreams about men?
Me: I dont know.
Wife: So you do think about other men in a sexual way, right?
Me: Uh um well, Yes.
Wife: Oh thank G-d, ive been wanting to tell you something for years. I think about women when we are intimate, actually thats all I ever think about in a sexual manner. Im glad its not just me!!
Me: HUH??

I love this woman so much!!!!!

Figured I would share, all the other responses I could give are just to upsetting. This is the only one that makes me grin ;-)

-Jay-
_________________________
"Those are not your sins" A wise man

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#421306 - 01/06/13 10:05 PM Re: What is the dumbest thing you've been told? [Re: Randy65]
Randy65 Offline


Registered: 04/14/12
Posts: 109
Loc: Jonesboro, Arkansas
You all have been very courageous sharing these. With each one that I read, I am moved and also encouraged to strive on. It is true that only we that have been through this are uniquely bonded for life. I am moved to tears and laughter as I read the quotes. I know that these words have hurt us and at times confused us, but I can honestly say that by hearing this from others is healing to me.
I realize that the many kind words of many can be stained by the harsh words of few. The people that we respected, loved, and sacrificed for, can hurt the most with the smallest amount of words that can never be erased once heard. These my friends are the words that motivate me. I did not cause this to happen to me in anyway and I refuse to give the past words the strength to break me down. I will educate the current word and quote offenders to realize that words do have power, but it's the emotion behind the words that I seek.
Keep posting my brothers and stay strong.
Randy
_________________________
My Story of CSA
http://youtu.be/EJIlKCRL_6M

My Story of CSA: The Day God Entered My Heart
http://youtu.be/vpCWEp6u9zM

My Story of CSA: "Flashbacks" (Trigger Caution)
http://youtu.be/xLd5Fe-MxVM



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#421307 - 01/06/13 10:16 PM Re: What is the dumbest thing you've been told? [Re: Randy65]
jay75 Offline


Registered: 07/23/12
Posts: 145
@Pufferfish,
I am so sorry your father had that reaction. That was my motivation for never saying a word to my father. I knew for sure I would be to blame. My heart aches for you..

(((((((PUFFERFISH))))))))

-Jay-
_________________________
"Those are not your sins" A wise man

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#421320 - 01/06/13 11:16 PM Re: What is the dumbest thing you've been told? [Re: jay75]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6816
Loc: USA
Thank you Gary, Jay and Randy and others.

Yeah I'm still emotional about it. It did hurt.

Puffer



Edited by pufferfish (01/06/13 11:19 PM)

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#421340 - 01/07/13 01:19 AM * [Re: Randy65]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 2217
*


Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (04/29/13 01:55 PM)

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#421407 - 01/07/13 05:13 PM Re: What is the dumbest thing you've been told? [Re: Randy65]
LazyPirate Offline


Registered: 01/03/13
Posts: 106
Loc: Ontario
Puffer... Holy crap! That was intense. I feel so bad that something so awful happened after disclosing.
_________________________
The Bluebird of Happiness long absent from his life, Ned is visited by the Chicken of Depression. - Gary Larson

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#421631 - 01/09/13 07:00 AM Re: What is the dumbest thing you've been told? [Re: Randy65]
A270465 Offline


Registered: 01/04/13
Posts: 49
Loc: SE Mich
dumbest thing i ever heard OF is the "pain scale" of one to 10.
Pull your own molar out with no anesthesia and ask me where i am on the pain scale. F-ing dentist misdrilled it then refused to pull it bc it was a "dangerous extraction".
Pretty dumb thing for a guy licensed as a dentist to say.
Is there an emotional pain scale? how bout a 40 (or minus 40)?
_________________________
BrokenLeg@2 EarCutoff@5 RanOver@7 UnanethesizedSurgeries@8 rapedfrom10to11 Dysfunction&Druguse@12 Crime@13 Dotdotdot Violence Jail@18Escaped Prison@19GladiatorSchool Max@20 Supermax@21 HellEnsues THROWNbacktothestreets@26 MarriedWKids@28 HeardofCptsd@33
Seeking help
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#421632 - 01/09/13 07:01 AM Re: What is the dumbest thing you've been told? [Re: Randy65]
A270465 Offline


Registered: 01/04/13
Posts: 49
Loc: SE Mich
Another:
"We should just start swinging with strangers"
from a woman that wanted to witness M on M sex at my expense.
_________________________
BrokenLeg@2 EarCutoff@5 RanOver@7 UnanethesizedSurgeries@8 rapedfrom10to11 Dysfunction&Druguse@12 Crime@13 Dotdotdot Violence Jail@18Escaped Prison@19GladiatorSchool Max@20 Supermax@21 HellEnsues THROWNbacktothestreets@26 MarriedWKids@28 HeardofCptsd@33
Seeking help
And the days tick by all the same

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#421670 - 01/09/13 06:39 PM Re: What is the dumbest thing you've been told? [Re: Randy65]
Publius Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/13/12
Posts: 396
Loc: OH
From my doctor after I broke down in his office crying and explained my situation to him.

"I really think you should bury this because this is the kind of thing that can hold you back if you let it."

He wasn't trying to be a jerk at all but genuinely seemed to think that was the best course of action. Although I had not begun therapy yet I had read a few books already and knew intellectually that was the worst thing to tell a survivor. Didn't matter though because emotionally it still upset me to hear someone say it. Also made me wonder what he had buried.


Edited by Publius (01/09/13 06:42 PM)
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"Life is like this dark tunnel. You may not always see the light at the end of the tunnel, but if you keep moving, you will come to a better place." ~ General Iroh

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