2012
Having 15 years of alcoholic sobriety
Telling another human being about my being abused as a boy
Finding the MS web site
Overcoming compulsive sexual acting out
Overcoming compulsive porn and MB activity
Beginning a period of sexual sobriety
Disclosing my CSA to a group of men at an AA meeting
Changing Therapists to one who specializes in Trauma Recovery
Starting EMDR Therapy
Volunteering for a child abuse prevention organization
Making amends to my grown children and explaining my past to them

2013
Overcoming nightmares
Overcoming Flashbacks
Overcoming self-hatred
Being the father my children deserve
Finding my abuser
Being able to have a sex life without dissociation, compulsivity, going too fast, too slow, or too soft
Resolving the state of my marriage, one way or the other
Continuing my education
Becoming an advocate for children

Jude,

You've made amazing, commendable progress in 2012 - to the point where not too long after you started really confronting your own pain you were helping other people in your AA meetings. I remember reading your messages about how difficult that was for you, the fear and nervousness you felt, but at the same time how obvious it was that you were helping to link other people struggling with this to a source of optimism and hope. It really cannot be overstated just how important that is. You should be very proud.

Your 2013 goals look extremely important and, for the most part, extremely achievable. I say "for the most part" because, to be frank, overcoming nightmares and flashbacks is probably not entirely within conscious control, and will depend on a combination of your overall mental state, background stress level / trigger exposure, therapeutic comforts, whatever meds you're taking, and dumb luck. You listed those FIRST which suggests they are the most important to you and I completely understand. I am so afraid of just the memories of my flashbacks that it's nearly as bad as the flashbacks themselves. But still, those two will be the most difficult and the least subject to your will, and you should go into 2013 with realistic expectations so you don't get let down.

I have full faith that you can triumph in all of the others - that you can take charge and resolve all of those areas much for the better. And I'll sure be rooting for you to get the "Big Two" under control as well.

Matt

*

Jude

What can I say but you are such an encouragement to me!!!

Lee