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#420339 - 12/28/12 09:21 PM Adoption
bobcat83 Offline


Registered: 11/22/12
Posts: 4
Disclosed my abuse to my adoption agency my wife and I are using to adopt.internationally. Now we are on a two year "hold" while my fitness as a parent is evaluated.

Feeling very shamed today. Thanks for listening.

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#420340 - 12/28/12 09:45 PM Re: Adoption [Re: bobcat83]
cant_remember Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/05
Posts: 997
It's not your fault that the agency doesn't understand. I'm sorry for the burden this has placed on the plans for your family.

It's important for your wife to know that this is the agency's problem, not yours. Disclosing your abuse to the agency is proof of your fitness as a parent, not a reason for two years of evaluation.

Replace that shame you feel with indignation and anger.

Cant
_________________________
Recovery is possible. Hang in there, brothers.

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#420371 - 12/29/12 07:25 AM Re: Adoption [Re: bobcat83]
onlyakid Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/31/04
Posts: 1536
Loc: New Jersey
Unfortunately Bobcat, this is just a cover your ass move. The vampire myth is alive and well in todays society so everyone is worried. Especially since if anything were to happen, the agency fears being sued by the adopted child now an adult. They probably are hoping you don't want to go thru the evaluations so they can get rid of you.
_________________________
"Being with people that understand you...Priceless"

"and i don't want the world to see me, cause i don't think that they'd understand"

"You don't know what love is...you just do as your told"

"My life has changed. What you take as a simple thing, is not so simple for me anymore"


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#420376 - 12/29/12 10:22 AM Re: Adoption [Re: bobcat83]
blacken Offline
Chatroom Moderator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 08/13/01
Posts: 1196
Loc: Northern Ohio
Ditto above & also, there are powers outside the adoption agency that are concerned with an "international incident".
"One bad apple spoils the basket" is the world of ignorance & fear that we live in. Those extreamly rare cases, non-the-less, led to Russia blocking (some) adoptions by the USA.
Of course, the unfortunate results effect u, ur wife & that waiting child.
This is what I call, "Fear of the many, outweigh the needs of the one"....aka International Policy.
It's a sad day indeed.
_________________________
Everyone is a genius! If you were to judge a fish, by its ability to climb a tree,
it would think it was stupid all of it's life.
~Albert Einstein

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#420408 - 12/29/12 04:53 PM * [Re: bobcat83]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 2217
*


Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (04/29/13 01:41 PM)

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