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#420291 - 12/28/12 07:06 AM Online friends (anonymous)
lfp Offline


Registered: 11/02/08
Posts: 121
Hello guys, I really need your opinion.

I am in an online community (well, have been for 2 years) and I've liked the experience in general. Everyone is anonymous but I've gotten to add people in the 'real' world and even exchanged presents with them.

But there is one thing, and is that one of the online friends that I interact the most with prefers to remain anonymous. This person pretended to be a celebrity but then admitted to me that he wasn't. Sometimes I feel lonely or depressed and he is there to chat, he gives a lot of encouragement and shares interesting stuff. He says that it's nice for him to see me become the person I want to be.

While all this is not bad, and I'm not really sharing personal data like my name, address, e-mail (maybe some pics in the online community), this thing is starting to freak me out a little. Somebody's need to remain anonymous after all this time just feels weird to me. Now, this person has not asked me anything from my personal data either, actually most of it is just chit chat.

What do you guys think? I must add that I'm paranoid in general.
_________________________
Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there. ~Josh Billings.
The Round Table, Mondays 7:30pm CST.

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#420294 - 12/28/12 08:31 AM Re: Online friends (anonymous) [Re: lfp]
ALovingMum Offline


Registered: 02/24/12
Posts: 47
Loc: England
Hi lfp,

I am not sure if I am allowed to post here, but here is my 2 cents. You are right to feel the way you do. It is way safer than trusting getting hurt/into danger and then learning a vicious lesson! What you are doing is protecting yourself and following your gut instinct and most of the time gut instincts are always right! My advice is to keep things the way they are, don't be too freaked out, but don't let your guard down either. Don't give out your personal details to him and do not divulge too much stuff, particularly your plans, to him.

Don't worry too much about why he still feels the need to remain anonymous after all this time, but you could ask him in a non-threatening and very light way and see what he says. He, probably, is fighting his own demons who knows?

I hope this helps a little.
_________________________
Daily I worry for the safety of my young sons - but worry achieves nothing! So I pray for their safety!

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#420299 - 12/28/12 09:57 AM Re: Online friends (anonymous) [Re: lfp]
lfp Offline


Registered: 11/02/08
Posts: 121
Hello, thank you for your advice.

Well, he tells me he is also seeing a T, and has also given me good advice for example for dealing with anxiety and eventual depression. Encouraged me when a loved one passed away, and constantly tells me to follow my dreams. None of this is bad and I appreciate it, but it keeps making me feel weird at the same time. Sometimes I think about not communicating again, but that's rather harsh, I think...

Not only with this, but I'm generally cautious with everyone, almost to paranoid levels. In the outside world I've also kept myself away from relationships for several reasons, one of them is because I'm scared that by revealing aspects of myself, they will use that against me and then hurt me.

I don't know what to do.


Edited by lfp (12/28/12 10:52 AM)
_________________________
Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there. ~Josh Billings.
The Round Table, Mondays 7:30pm CST.

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#420329 - 12/28/12 06:50 PM Re: Online friends (anonymous) [Re: lfp]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3678
Loc: somewhere in Africa
lfp -

trust your instincts. keep yourself safe. preserve your anonymity and distance. there is no reason you should reveal more personal details to someone else who won't reciprocate. even if they do give "facts" how do you know it is true?

i guess i'm a bit paranoid too.
Lee
_________________________
"Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself... And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity." - Paulo Coelho


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#420330 - 12/28/12 06:52 PM Re: Online friends (anonymous) [Re: lfp]
finallyopen Offline


Registered: 11/16/12
Posts: 69
Loc: Ontario, Canada
Hi lfp
Don't let one individual put you off .. there are plenty of us here who enjoy our anonimity (sp?).
I have managed to make a few good friends here - although I give them advice and they in return to me, I attempt not to get overly personal as it tends to be a trigger for some people and I would never want to hurt or offend.
Just keep goin brother and if you need someone to talk to .. I'm here
Cheers
_________________________
My Story : http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthr...4645#Post434645

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#420333 - 12/28/12 07:34 PM * [Re: lfp]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 2217
*


Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (04/29/13 01:39 PM)

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#420338 - 12/28/12 08:45 PM Re: Online friends (anonymous) [Re: lfp]
Suwanee Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 869
Loc: Southeast USA
Trust your instincts. Your are conveying this to us because somewhere, that small voice is speaking to you. There is nothing wrong with remaining anonymous for any number of reasons. Like someone else said, this person may be dealing with some demons. He may worry about privacy...but presenting as one thing and admitting to being something else is a red flag. It isn't a show stopper, but I would proceed cautiously and not be offended if he isn't ready to reciprocate. There is a reason for this---and you don't know what it is yet...so use caution.

Will
(yes, I'll put a first name down...)
_________________________
I ask you to judge me by the enemies I have made. --FDR

I remember redwood trees, bumper cars and wolverines
The ocean's Trident submarines
Lemons, limes and tangerines
I remember this… R.E.M. 1988

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