I wish i had a dad. My father has a photo of his
disordered neices. i hate that i liked Ken's crotch.
i dont wantt o trigger anybody.
They helped me by turning me against my mom.
My dad ...he is peculiar... i won't go to sex addicts
and tell them i am addicted to gay porn.
I already told them i am a virgin-in different words.
I spent Xmas evening- 4 hours watching that stuff!
This woman therapist ;who lives in California- we are
chatting Wednesday morning via phone.
And i am going to tell her how special i behaved Christmas night.
I hate this. I have a boook called the Porn Trap ...i only
read 3 chapters. It is good ...i just wont feel unwanted-
or avoiding. I hate this fucked up feelings. I wish i could
stand away from myself dig in my head and heart turn everything
around and say " there i am all cured now" , "how do i feel"?
Therapists............what if i was in Toronto....what is the
dif? You still cant freak people out!
You have to b careful! This is all very lovely.
Well got to go .
byebye!

Goran

Okay ,,, 1. my dad is downstairs,as i write this.
2. on his dresser is a photo of his
piece of shit neices ,along with my bradd-R.
3. fuckin cunt bozna-dad's god sister-
in-law wants me idolize Ken dolls. It worked!
I imagine acting out on them as i google sites
that will show me i am no man.
I go off on tangents.
I quickly read my post before leaving.
I can see how people can get a little lost when
reading my posts.
Now i am done
Jenya!
G

Hey Goran,
nice to see you buddy
Well it seems that many of us have had some struggles during these holidays, so buddy please know that you are not alone.
But hey it seems like you have some good literature there, you could read it more and tell me some hints about that trap that keeps us all together like imprisoned ?
Keep writing and sharing with us, you are terrible special person !
Love you
(((Goran)))!

G!!

It is a mess we have been handed, or rather that has been shoved down into the deep recesses of our bodies. It is in our mind, that we learn from the abuse, that we are of the abuse. BUT.., we are not. We ARE children, the same who can laugh and run and play. We ARE adults who go to grocery stores and buy yogurt. We can be so much more than what we are, but right now, we need to heal. We need to love ourselves and very much care for us, as a doctor in a hospital treating an injury. No the patient cannot laugh and run and play, not yet...

but soon.

My very best to you Goran. Thank you for sharing.

We can't be to hard on ourselves .. other people placed these burdens on us, it was not our choice!!
I don't get "lost" reading your posts .. they are sensitive and allow you to release the anguish that we all bare. Many of us on this site understand you in your writtings.
Keep well Goran.
Doug