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#419990 - 12/23/12 11:23 PM
I finally told someone
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Registered: 10/27/12
Posts: 11
Loc: in mountains both in my mind a...
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It took decades to get enough courage but I finally told my older brother today. I was sure he was going to tell me I was mistaken or making it up but he didn't. I had never let on to anyone in my family - I was 9 at the time. He said he had wondered because he felt I had 'hinted' of it before but he couldn't ever see it. As I explained it to him he started to understand. What was weird was the man behind the abuse was also one of my brothers favorite teachers growing up that really helped him out - one by giving my brother his first real job and two by sending my brother a wedding gift 5 years later (without even getting an invitation). That is one of the weird parts. I feel the man was buying my silence. By doing such nice things for my brother, certainly if I ever tried to tell, my brother wouldn't believe me because the man was so nice to him. I am feeling great today because someone believe me.
_________________________
transition from cub scouts to boy scouts wasn't easy. It was hard to go from the safety of den mothers to the world of men and older boys.
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#419996 - 12/24/12 12:39 AM
Re: I finally told someone
[Re: webelos]
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Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 2442
Loc: overseas
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Webelos -
i am so happy for you that you were able to take this big step and that the results were positive. so good to have your brother on your team. congratulations!
lee
_________________________
They have greatly oppressed me from my youth, but they have not gained the victory over me.
Plowmen have plowed my back and made their furrows long.
But the Lord is righteous; he has cut me free from the cords of the wicked.
Psalm 129:2-4
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#420029 - 12/24/12 04:14 PM
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[Re: webelos]
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Member
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 1508
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*
Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (04/29/13 12:31 PM)
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#420059 - 12/25/12 03:48 AM
Re: I finally told someone
[Re: webelos]
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Registered: 10/27/12
Posts: 11
Loc: in mountains both in my mind a...
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The overwhelming feeling right now is that the silence is breaking. There was a contractual agreement with my head that my body never accepted. I was forced into secrecy and everything turned into code. Along the way I needed and continue to need to find a way to break the code.
_________________________
transition from cub scouts to boy scouts wasn't easy. It was hard to go from the safety of den mothers to the world of men and older boys.
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#420066 - 12/25/12 08:37 AM
Re: I finally told someone
[Re: webelos]
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Member
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 02/26/05
Posts: 877
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((((Webelos))))
Disclosure is great. What a wonderful Christmas present to give yourself. So thankful your brother responded well.
I disclosed to a 1st cousin last week. It makes us stronger when we do.
Cant
_________________________
"There is a Catskill eagle in some souls that can alike dive down into the blackest gorges, and soar out of them again and become invisible in the sunny spaces... even in his lowest swoop the mountain eagle is still higher than other birds upon the plain, even though they soar." -- from Moby-Dick
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#420071 - 12/25/12 09:38 AM
Re: I finally told someone
[Re: webelos]
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Member
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 03/31/04
Posts: 1502
Loc: New Jersey
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I'm so happy that your brother responded so well. It took great courage to do that. Our perps teach us to believe that no one will believe us or that its our fault, I'm glad you didn't let that message win
Jason
_________________________
"Being with people that understand you...Priceless"
"and i don't want the world to see me, cause i don't think that they'd understand"
"You don't know what love is...you just do as your told"
"My life has changed. What you take as a simple thing, is not so simple for me anymore"
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#420095 - 12/25/12 04:29 PM
Re: I finally told someone
[Re: webelos]
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Member
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 05/07/11
Posts: 1709
Loc: Johannesburg South Africa
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Hi Webelos
Welcome to what I deem to be the first step of empowering your self. I became less ashamed of my past when I began to talk about it.
Keep going brother and heal well
Martin
_________________________
Matrix Men South Africa Survivors Supporting Each otherMatrix Men Blog
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#420096 - 12/25/12 04:35 PM
Re: I finally told someone
[Re: webelos]
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Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 134
Loc: Washington State
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Awesome, Good for you.  !!! Man that is just so awesom!
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#420153 - 12/26/12 10:24 AM
Re: I finally told someone
[Re: webelos]
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Registered: 08/08/12
Posts: 809
Loc: New England
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.... I feel the man was buying my silence. By doing such nice things for my brother, certainly if I ever tried to tell, my brother wouldn't believe me because the man was so nice to him. Webelos, You are likely right about this. Its classic pedophile behavior to cover their tracks this way. Good for your brother for have put you first and believed you. And good for you for taking this step. Its scary as hell, but the relief you've gotten is worth it. Jude
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"Suffering was the only thing that made me feel I was alive, Thought thats just what it cost to survive in this world, ...now I haven't got time for the pain... " -Carly Simon now 67!
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