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#420037 - 12/24/12 08:26 PM Don't really trust females
DarkHadou Offline


Registered: 10/13/10
Posts: 117
I am heterosexual and I'm attracted to them, but much less now compared to when I was younger. It's especially harder now since I'm not really attracted to the ones my age. Most of them are married, have kids, or in a serious relationship. But when I think about it, having a girlfriend, I don't think I can really trust any of them. I have thoughts like I will be used. Then I have other thoughts like just being alone with her she can have the advantage and lie. This is the part that is related to the abuse. Let's say we are in the car, and she says she wants money or whatever it is. I say I can't and then she can claim that I tried to rape her. This is why if I was in a relationship, I would record all of the conversations to protect myself. Number 1: No, I wouldn't even try to do that to her. But the reason I feel she would is because girl's can be very deceiving and manipulative especially with guys like me who has never been in a relationship.

Number 2: I don't really want to have sex, and then I will have to share why.

The only realistic option would be to be dating, possibly, a girl who was also sexually abused as a child so maybe she would be more understanding why I wouldn't want to introduce her to my parents, why I don't want to be touched during certain times, why I am mostly not in a good mood, etc... or it can also be a girl who has a mental disorder like I do. I don't really trust them though.

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#420191 - 12/26/12 07:25 PM Re: Don't really trust females [Re: DarkHadou]
SamV Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/13/09
Posts: 5947
Loc: Talladega, Alabama, USA
(((DarkHadou))) It is frustrating, the chaos thoughts in our head that we try to wade through in murky shallows to come up with some reasoning that makes the connection between the reality of the world around us and the torment of abuse though years gone by.

Search for her, second to your continuing recovery of course. Look for those who would fill that void in your life, ask those questions, find those traits. Double date with a safe person. Always have a safe person you can trust. If that is unavailable for you, date in the daytime, and walk or bicycle everywhere.

Trust, a word so foreign, so unknown. Trust. The truth of trust is waiting to be found by you, but the whole of it is for a time in the future. Keep seeking, DarkHadou, keep learning, feeling and recovering, my best to you fellow survivor.
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MaleSurvivor Moderator Emeritus 2012 - 2014

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