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#419990 - 12/24/12 12:23 AM I finally told someone
webelos Offline


Registered: 10/27/12
Posts: 12
Loc: in mountains both in my mind a...
It took decades to get enough courage but I finally told my older brother today. I was sure he was going to tell me I was mistaken or making it up but he didn't. I had never let on to anyone in my family - I was 9 at the time. He said he had wondered because he felt I had 'hinted' of it before but he couldn't ever see it. As I explained it to him he started to understand. What was weird was the man behind the abuse was also one of my brothers favorite teachers growing up that really helped him out - one by giving my brother his first real job and two by sending my brother a wedding gift 5 years later (without even getting an invitation). That is one of the weird parts. I feel the man was buying my silence. By doing such nice things for my brother, certainly if I ever tried to tell, my brother wouldn't believe me because the man was so nice to him. I am feeling great today because someone believe me.
_________________________
transition from cub scouts to boy scouts wasn't easy. It was hard to go from the safety of den mothers to the world of men and older boys.

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#419996 - 12/24/12 01:39 AM Re: I finally told someone [Re: webelos]
traveler Online   confused
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3372
Loc: somewhere in Africa
Webelos -

i am so happy for you that you were able to take this big step and that the results were positive. so good to have your brother on your team. congratulations!

lee
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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#420029 - 12/24/12 05:14 PM * [Re: webelos]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 2217
*


Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (04/29/13 01:31 PM)

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#420059 - 12/25/12 04:48 AM Re: I finally told someone [Re: webelos]
webelos Offline


Registered: 10/27/12
Posts: 12
Loc: in mountains both in my mind a...
The overwhelming feeling right now is that the silence is breaking. There was a contractual agreement with my head that my body never accepted. I was forced into secrecy and everything turned into code. Along the way I needed and continue to need to find a way to break the code.
_________________________
transition from cub scouts to boy scouts wasn't easy. It was hard to go from the safety of den mothers to the world of men and older boys.

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#420065 - 12/25/12 09:34 AM Re: I finally told someone [Re: webelos]
Randy65 Offline


Registered: 04/14/12
Posts: 109
Loc: Jonesboro, Arkansas
Webelos,
I am so proud of you. This is such a huge step in the right direction and journey to healing. It seems that the people closest to me are the hardest to talk to this about. Not they aren't willing to listen to what we have to say, but the strange thoughts in our own heads feeding into the silence.
So,so,so proud of you!
Randy
_________________________
My Story of CSA
http://youtu.be/EJIlKCRL_6M

My Story of CSA: The Day God Entered My Heart
http://youtu.be/vpCWEp6u9zM

My Story of CSA: "Flashbacks" (Trigger Caution)
http://youtu.be/xLd5Fe-MxVM



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#420066 - 12/25/12 09:37 AM Re: I finally told someone [Re: webelos]
cant_remember Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/05
Posts: 1039
((((Webelos))))

Disclosure is great. What a wonderful Christmas present to give yourself. So thankful your brother responded well.

I disclosed to a 1st cousin last week. It makes us stronger when we do.

Cant
_________________________
Recovery is possible. Hang in there, brothers.

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#420071 - 12/25/12 10:38 AM Re: I finally told someone [Re: webelos]
onlyakid Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/31/04
Posts: 1552
Loc: New Jersey
I'm so happy that your brother responded so well. It took great courage to do that. Our perps teach us to believe that no one will believe us or that its our fault, I'm glad you didn't let that message win

Jason
_________________________
"Being with people that understand you...Priceless"

"and i don't want the world to see me, cause i don't think that they'd understand"

"You don't know what love is...you just do as your told"

"My life has changed. What you take as a simple thing, is not so simple for me anymore"


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#420095 - 12/25/12 05:29 PM Re: I finally told someone [Re: webelos]
whome Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/07/11
Posts: 1734
Loc: Johannesburg South Africa
Hi Webelos

Welcome to what I deem to be the first step of empowering your self. I became less ashamed of my past when I began to talk about it.

Keep going brother and heal well
Martin
_________________________
Matrix Men South Africa
Survivors Supporting Each other
Matrix Men Blog

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#420096 - 12/25/12 05:35 PM Re: I finally told someone [Re: webelos]
SmartShadow Offline


Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 135
Loc: Washington State
Awesome,

Good for you. smile smile smile !!!

Man that is just so awesom!

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#420153 - 12/26/12 11:24 AM Re: I finally told someone [Re: webelos]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1510
Loc: New England
Originally Posted By: webelos
.... I feel the man was buying my silence. By doing such nice things for my brother, certainly if I ever tried to tell, my brother wouldn't believe me because the man was so nice to him.


Webelos,

You are likely right about this. Its classic pedophile behavior to cover their tracks this way. Good for your brother for have put you first and believed you. And good for you for taking this step. Its scary as hell, but the relief you've gotten is worth it.

Jude
_________________________
I went back to the doctor
To get another shrink.
I sit and tell him about my weekend,
But he never betrays what he thinks.
Can you see the real me, doctor?.
The Who

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