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#419876 - 12/22/12 10:46 PM Depressed
Magellan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/31/10
Posts: 1403
Loc: California
In spite of all my efforts, I'm still not able to connect to anyone romantically. It's never happened. I just turned 41, and I've never been in love with someone who's been in love with me.

I feel at a total and complete loss as to make this happen. I've been single forever. And I'm terrified of dying without knowing what this "romantic love" is.

My therapist tells me that I"ll be forever looking for this experience until I have it because it is a supplant to replace the experience of total connection I never had with my parents.

Updated to add - my therapist tells me this is a natural need, that all people who experience the lack of love from their parents experience this need, and that I will forever search to fullfill this need until it is met. I was surprised to hear my therapist tell me this a few weeks ago.

Really? I'll be haunted by this forever until I experience it? And here I am, 41. No closer to my goal than when I set out to achieve it when I was 16.

I'm haunted by this. And my heart is filled with sadness and loneliness.

I hate this.

D


Edited by Magellan (12/23/12 12:12 AM)
Edit Reason: added a bit
_________________________
It's a heroes journey, and you are the hero.

Loving Kindness Meditation will dramatically improve your spirits; give it a try for just 3 days: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sz7cpV7ERsM

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#419877 - 12/22/12 11:36 PM Re: Depressed [Re: Magellan]
WriterKeith Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/10
Posts: 951
Loc: southern California
Magellan,
A wise man once said,.. . wait a minute.. that wise man is you.
And you said it just a few weeks ago. Magellan

Maybe your "old" way of thinking is trying to reject your "new" way of thinking? I have been told many times by therapists that, "Change always meets resistance."

Sometimes it's like reaching the mountain peak and suddenly the inner voice starts saying, "You'll never make it to the top."

With each plateau of learning and discovery on this MS journey, it seems like it takes the backside of the brain some time to catch up with the new reality. Could this be what's happening in your thoughts tonight? confused

_________________________
"A burned bridge can be a gift; it prevents us from returning to a place we should have never been."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JfvAPZGjds

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#419882 - 12/23/12 01:12 AM * [Re: Magellan]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 2217
*


Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (04/29/13 01:28 PM)

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#419888 - 12/23/12 02:07 AM Re: Depressed [Re: Magellan]
Magellan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/31/10
Posts: 1403
Loc: California
deleted


Edited by Magellan (12/23/12 05:29 PM)
_________________________
It's a heroes journey, and you are the hero.

Loving Kindness Meditation will dramatically improve your spirits; give it a try for just 3 days: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sz7cpV7ERsM

Top


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