Hey Lancer,
you are already have kind of blog made from this post
Hey man don't be hard on yourself, this all will pass soon, you are going to do business as usual including macho things (yes you are hell of a butch ) like mowing the lawn
It is true about moving and doing things that we like, we should try to do it as long as possible. And when it comes that we can't proceed further we should find some other easier activity to regularly do. My motto is: never stop, moving = life
When I'll be eighty years old I know that I'll go hiking and walking around with backpack on my back just same as I did when I was boy
Hang on buddy, you are not alone!
Here is my warmest hug for you, You Poor Thing, come here
(((Lancer)))

Pero

*

I'm gonna have a Gary moment. Y'all are gonna make me cry.

Horrible rhyme, but no one's ever told me I rock. Boy, that works for me. Your greeting card career is unchallenged! "So you've got shingles/Well here's my jingle" Ohgawd that's wonderful.

A story behind "You Poor Thing" Pero. It was my musclebound, ex-EMT/fireman doctor (who died a year later from "natural causes"...with his mood swings, I suspect steroids). But just that phrase from him did wonders at the time.

Already mentioned this to Gary. But I was amazed what four hours flat on my back did for me (and still up in time to see the Red Bull jump). I don't acknowledge that hell, yes, I'm SICK. Sooo, when I do all this "stuff", yeah, my already under seige system doesn't react well to it. DOH! Sheesh. Missed the obvious.

The warm baking soda sitz is now firmly in the daily routine. Gawd, I should write a book, huh?


And I would like to point out the EXTENSIVE web search work I did for appropriate imagery.

Laughter is the best medicine!

Puffer

Thank you Puffer. I try to get the ball rolling. I'm trying - sometimes more successfully than others. But something as simple as a kind word from one of you guys really helps because I still sometimes feel alone with this.

The pain gets to me, the mind starts doing things and next thing you know I'm in a funk. Since the conventional wisdom is that it's triggered by stress - though unknown why - I guess my lesson is that it's okay for me to let go of this CSA sh*t for a while, perhaps deal with it at a slower, less intense pace. Sounds strange, but I sometimes forget about the HIV in my quest to appear "normal"...but I need to respect my less obvious physical limitations even though I might otherwise feel fine.

Lancer -

i'm not real good with sickness, hospital visits, etc. i always feel awkward and i don't know what to say. but i really feel bad for you that you have this additional burden on top of everything else.

i appreciate the way you are able to laugh and joke about it and try to put on a brave face. but i hope you will also feel free to do some serious lamenting if you need to. don't feel like you have to keep up the morale for anybody else.

OK?
Lee

In my book, Lee - you know this fr our history - you're a saint anyway. LOL...I don't do brave face. Most of the time on this round head's doing better than I'd expected.

Frankly, slaving over a hot keyboard to find the funny shingles pix was quite theraputic. Under the circumstances, I feel pretty balanced. Writing about it really helps...especially when I feel like sh*t.

You don't like hospital visits Lee? Blood, pain, suffering, weird machines making weird noises...NEEDLES? <---my personal fave...lays me out on the floor in minutes

Oh, come along with me sometime on a visit. You'll have fun. When buds have been hospitalized with HIV-related stuff, I'll take along something completely inappropriate like a balloon that says, "Congratulations! It's a boy!" or a carefully and tastefully-wrapped carburetor. Does wonders.

you make me laugh and cry at the same time!
love your irreverent humour!
i wish we could all know each other in person in another life.

"Well, gee, Lancer, when the shingles starts to affect your brain how will we know the difference?"

Good point.