I just want to thank my partner and all of you that have put up with us survivors and our unique circumstances. You all have endured and continue to support us even though we have let you down on so many levels. Healing is such a tough burden, emotionally, financially, and physically. Most of you have placed us first above your own needs and it is appreciated.

It takes a special person to basically start a new life with someone who is completely different than the person you have loved over the past. This time of year is especially hard because we are just trying to get through the holidays and you all are lost in the shuffle. Please remember that you are loved and appreciated. We are learning to understand emotions that have never been let to surface, and it can be overwhelming.

I am working to get better so I can take a 13 year one sided relationship to the best level it can be. Commitment is a partnership and I will become a dependable, caring, supportive man.

I just wanted to say thank you and even though we are null of emotion, everyday is one day closer to feeling the love and commitment as you do. We strongly crave and you deserve.
Thank you,
Randy

*tears*

Thank you, Randy.

I will be alone this Christmas for the first time in my life. It is so hard. I only hope this next year will bring better and brighter days for us all.

Wow Randy

I read your post and I am crying, it is a beautiful post. I will tell my wife this, it is so true. And to all the wives out there, never give up, if your man is working at his healing.

Thanks Randy, I am sure that this will give those in pain something to hold onto.

Heal well
Martin

Hi Outoflove,
I pray for you during this holiday and your future. I know it is hard and I am but letters on a computer screen But, we both are real and amongst others carrying a burden. This is "our" family and they are here for us, as we are for them. Your words give me strength. Please take a moment and fill the joy in that, because it's real. God has gotten us this far and we can't stop now.
Stay strong my friend.
Randy

Thanks Martin,
I really appreciate those kind words. I see my psychologist twice a week, one of those visits is shared with my partner. It has helped me realize what they are going through. Tip toeing around words and actions to not upset us. They can be having a great day and our depression or anxiety can end that in just seconds. They never know who they are gonna get, the mad,sad,or scared person we are. I often wonder why so many others have just put there abuse behind them and why it won't let me be free. I know we have a long journey of healing ahead and I have finally excepted that. We can only get better. I pray for you and your wife, may your future be positive and healing my friend.
Stay Strong,
Randy

Randy Thanks
Life changes for us once we realize what impact that we have on our loved ones. The fact that we actually care that we are hurting them is a great step in our healing.
Now begins the task of rebuilding trust, and with this comes mutual respect. once the respect for one another is in place then the love can blossom once again.

Interesting thread that you might be able to start here. HOW OUR BEHAVIOR IMPACTED ON OUR LOVED ONES. Might get some interesting insights.

Keep going Randy, its worth it.

Heal well
Martin