[He constantly tries to shift the conversation away from himself and only wants to talk about everything that I do wrong.]
Yes! I know exactly what your'e talking about! For every issue I try to calmly, rationally address (at least I feel like I try to calmly, rationally adress them...), my husband seems to come up with three crazy, off-the-wall things about me - like something I did that made him mad, or something I said that I shouldn't have said. Example: I didn't notice that he brushed his teeth before going to bed two nights in a row. (He's a smoker and I'm not - I constantly complain about his breath)
I get frustrated with the therapist because if feels like she lets the topic go astray and we don't really address the issue we were talking about in the first place before my husband pointed out *MY* inadequacies. Instead we then proceed to talk in length about why he felt it was so important that I should have noticed he brushed his teeth two nights in a row, and how we can send better non-verbal cues to eachother, and how ultimately, even if I feel the issue is unimportant, I need to acknowledge the importance he sees in it.
It's like, "Wait, weren't we supposed to be talking about limiting your time on the computer every night?!" (The therapist proposed that we set nightly limits on computer time...)
I feel exactly like you do! Like sometimes it's necessary that I be present to hear what a terrible person I am!
PS - I'm not trying to minimize or make fun of my husband's feelings, so PLEASE nobody take offense. I'm just venting here...