To me, there is nothing more lonely than having sex with someone I have no connection with.
Yes, sexual braggarts are annoying, especially for those of us who have struggled with our own sexualities in various ways. They make us feel inferior because our own sex lives are never as good as what they are describing (which may be somewhat exaggerated). But lets take care not to retreat into some "feminized" form of male sexuality that only
gives us the choice of sex in intimate, committed, long term relationships.
I'm going way out on a limb here in suggesting that there's nothing inherently "bad" about male sexuality...that is that men, in general, are wired to want sex and to seek it out. How we seek it out is our choice
. We don't have to fit the old mold of "sexual conquerer" (and braggart). Nor do we always have to fit the new mold of the "caring sensitive man" who can only enjoy the physical pleasure of sex in a long term committed relationship. We can be one or the other or both, or neither, at different points in our lives. The point is, we have the choice, and the choices we make can be fluid over our lives.
I think one of the principles of recovery is taking back control over our sexuality as men. In doing so we don't have to fit anyone else's definition of manhood. We get to define that for ourselves, as well as being responsible for our choices.
Thats my little speech on the soapbox.
"But now old friends are acting strange,
they shake their heads, they say I've changed.
Something's lost but something's gained in living every day
....it's life's illusions I recall, I really don't know life at all. "Joni Mitchell