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#418771 - 12/10/12 11:07 PM Re: isolation [Re: cosmos]
cosmos Offline


Registered: 11/12/12
Posts: 185
Loc: Puget Sound
Lee wish the wife was ready, just the kids our out of school and neither has a ďprofessional jobĒ so itís out of the question now, hell when they graduated neither could find a job in Texas so for about 6 months we all lived in a 900≤/ft condo on a mountain top, loved the views, hated being cramped, also hated having to put chains on just to get up and down the mountain in winter, btw moved down the mountain into 1700≤/ft condo, and yes they still are living in my house @24.
Thanx Bob
Gary I currently live in a small town, under 3500 people, the closest ďbig cityĒ is an hour away and has a whopping 50,000 people, I did grow up in the ďbig cityĒ ATL, but spent lots of time in the swamps of SW FL and the Appalachians, even trekked across some of the AT back in the day. I just always felt so at peace surrounded by nature its where we belong, however I could see living in Manhattan, LA, San Diego, Montreal, Vancouver or Boston, the Vermont thing is just about finally checking out and going low impact, small scale farming, off grid, off some dirt road in some remote mountain hollow, something that the wife supports. No your so right we do isolate ourselves with this shit, and thatís what I mean, even though my wife ďsays sheís there for meĒ, just what she says is not someone who understands, years ago when she was drunk she related a rape experience to me I was there for her, I held her for hours ,and just listened, just her reaction was so cold, when I told her and has not changed, she know the outline and some small details not every last thing hell I donít want to remember every last thing do I ? I just feel so alone, in that way, thatís why I ramble here, cause I can no longer talk to her about this, so whatever, thanx for listening.

Cee
_________________________
"it has never yet been discovered how to make man unknow his knowledge, or unthink his thoughts"

T. Paine

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#418780 - 12/11/12 01:56 AM Re: isolation [Re: cosmos]
men_of_hrts.dbw Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/20/09
Posts: 302
Loc: Orchidland Big Island Hawaii
Cee,
If someone had told me two years ago I would be living on Big Island in a remote off-grid community..solar and rainwater catchment system..harvest fruit and medicinal plants from the jungle and finally begin to heal after over three decades of aloneness I would not have believed it.
Sure..maybe some cabin in the California or Oregon mountains or a institution for the unable.
But here I am for the past 1 1/2 years in the Puna, the wet Eastern side of the island.

The Hobit House is owned by Mara and along with five other cottages is on a five acre exotic bird sanctuary with over forty breeding parrots and other game birds plus a pond full of talipia in front of the Hobit House..its all solar and custom tile all over the place and indoor shower with beautiful tile of sea turtles. I lived for seven months in a elevated Solar Hut couple hundred yards up the trail. Mara has grown every kind of fruit allowed on Hawaii there. She also has giant tortoses and two monkeys.

http://honolulu.craigslist.org/big/apa/3463467120.html
This is a great one.

http://honolulu.craigslist.org/big/apa/3461329123.html

http://honolulu.craigslist.org/big/apa/3465414478.html

There are also great family size off-grid homes or the Kona and North side of Big Island where it gets less rain but pricey. Here beautiful three bedrooms go for $850 and up.


_________________________
Doug>ASA Survivor (1x)
ECV 6001/MaTuCa Chapter 1849
E Clampus Vitus
"What Say the Brethren"
"Hang the Bastards"

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#418815 - 12/11/12 12:21 PM Re: isolation [Re: cosmos]
cosmos Offline


Registered: 11/12/12
Posts: 185
Loc: Puget Sound
Doug I read your descriptions of where you live sounds idyllic, just I was born up north but grew up in Atlanta, so the seasons were so muted. 10 years ago I spent a winter crisscrossing the mid-west doing network cutovers, even hit the UP of Michigan, oh man the ďwinter wonderland, I could never give up the seasons, imagine waking up to a sunrise and seeing the sun reflected through snow covered trees, thatís a site! $850 a month, thatís what I pay now, just looking for something next door in Vermont, New Hampshire property can be so expensive, and besides Vermont is sooo much more tolerant of certain things, Gov Lynch and the idiots in Concord couldnít figure out medical mj this last session.

Cee
_________________________
"it has never yet been discovered how to make man unknow his knowledge, or unthink his thoughts"

T. Paine

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#418830 - 12/11/12 04:54 PM Re: isolation [Re: cosmos]
men_of_hrts.dbw Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/20/09
Posts: 302
Loc: Orchidland Big Island Hawaii
Cee,
Yuppers, the winters I lived in Illinois and the tri-State area there was great..I travelled America with my equipment/coonhounds in a Step-Van job shopping contracts in the wood finishing industries.
Also lived in the Copper River basin Alaska 197-75 in total off-grid log cabin and off the land. The dry cold there was different than the lake effect in Illinois.
I identify with many of the posts about aloneness and isolation. It wasn't untill I no longer work and choosing a place to live...I discovered why I always hit the road and built a career which enabled a run from everything lifestyle.
I don't like being at home..I have no materialistic or domestic values. I never fully furnished the homes I rented and owned.
No fotos on the wall, no family ties, or stuff folks collect and furniture..Televisions or stereos..I can't even turn on a TV nowadays..no shit.
It was me and my artwork, career and the coonhounds.
Now...no longer working I have had to practice being comfortable stayingvin one place...I moved five times since just being here...all within a mile and each time no problems...just like hitting a onramp and down the road.
I lived in maybe 200 different places since 1977.
Right now visiting a lifelong buddy in Vancouver Washington. We were in the Marines together..1st Recon Bn. He remembers when I was abducted. We don't talk much about it though anymore.
So I return in mid-January and plan to rest up a month then do some Island Hopping with my bike..cost $35 to fly the bike...and visit each island for a month. The weather is nice enough to camp and get cheap ohana lodging when I desire...most locals will invite island hoppers to stay with them talk story and aloha then travel on.
I hope you fullfill your desire to do life on Vermont and gain true happiness. We survivors deserve that inner peace and external harmony after what we've been thru and your wife too!
Good chatting on this thread and maybe I'll stick around this time,
Aloha
_________________________
Doug>ASA Survivor (1x)
ECV 6001/MaTuCa Chapter 1849
E Clampus Vitus
"What Say the Brethren"
"Hang the Bastards"

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#418834 - 12/11/12 06:01 PM Re: isolation [Re: cosmos]
WayTooConfused Offline


Registered: 10/28/12
Posts: 48
Loc: Florida
I feel ya. I may not be physically alone, but I understand the lonliness and isolation of how people treat you, especially when they know the situation your in. People are so fickle. They pretend to know, but it's just a guessing game to them and they have now clue as to what you really go through dealing with the humility of being raped (let alone gang-raped).
_________________________
Sick and tired of being Sick and tired.

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#418842 - 12/11/12 07:15 PM * [Re: cosmos]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 2217
*


Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (04/29/13 01:18 PM)

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#418847 - 12/11/12 07:45 PM Re: isolation [Re: cosmos]
cosmos Offline


Registered: 11/12/12
Posts: 185
Loc: Puget Sound
Doug thatís wild Iím in metro Seattle til Christmas then Iím off for 2 weeks just weird. See the security of the road, the security of being alone the comfort of being all alone even in the big city, just no trees or critters around. You can tell everyone a different story every day of the week no consistency with anything you do or say, you donít have to, no one will hold you accountable for anything except getting the job done, of course you canít piss anybody off, but then again who cares the boss is 3000mi away and you know you donít have to answer the phone right?
Way & Doug see thatís something that I canít understand either I spent 5 years on a submarine and know 1st hand what happens to like thieves, but your stuff I just donít get? I mean Iím sure it goes on in the submarine force but you gotta understand 120 guys if 3 people know everyone knows, I mean gossip is king, youíre under the water, no tv ,no news, hell on deployment you might not even know who won the superbowl for a week. I have no idea of what itís like except on a boat, your life depends on everyone onboard doing everything they can when the shit hits the fan, not to be presumptuous but I would assume itís the same right, let alone if someoneís shooting at you! I couldnít imagine what it would be like to be stuck on a sewer pipe for 6 months with your sworn enemy, much less if he was in your watch section or division, man I couldnít even imagine if it was a fellow sonarman in your watch section and having to spent 6 hours of every 18 with him, dude I woulda stabbed him in the neck!!!

Cee; former STS1/SS & plankowner on the beautiful SSN7*7
_________________________
"it has never yet been discovered how to make man unknow his knowledge, or unthink his thoughts"

T. Paine

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#418885 - 12/12/12 07:07 AM Re: isolation [Re: cosmos]
SmartShadow Offline


Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 135
Loc: Washington State
Hay cosmos, I am with you. Big citys are no place to live. The five + dream is doable. Life is all about chooses. But yea as Jude said no mater where you go, there you are, but u might as well look out at cows and JD. Iam with you. So it's simple. You start with where you are at. You "pick where you want to end up"
That's the hard part. The idea of something is often better then the reality and you have to sort through all of the implication of a long term plan. But it's like a garden. The idea comes first. Your wife wants what you want just in a difrent order. She need to know your serious about the dream and that you will stick with it and make it happen. She needs to know she is not only in the the dream but its her you want to do the dream with. Selling the plan takes time. You half to help her catch the dream. Lots of fears to help them get past. Security is the main need. That means all kind of stuff. But wifes are good at telling you what that means if you ask and realy want to know. Then just work all that stuff in to the plan. Find the common ground and make it the foundation of the plan. Rember you want to retire in this place. Think about what would still work 25 years from now. ie somebody else owns the cows on the adjacent 80. You get the benofit of you neighbors dream to. Begin with the end in mind and fill in the rest. Baby steps.
It's sound like you have a good idea about what you want. Selling the dream takes time and positive energy. Be persistent yet patient. Get excited about anything your wife wants that fit into that dream. This process could take time. All good thing do. Lastly the plan needs to work on paper. Maybe you keep your curent job for a wile. But hay you get to come home to what looks like a good place to call home. It takes a lot more work to and effort to get our wife on the same page, but hay by the sound of your wife, once on board she do a lot of the work and help make the dream even better then you could on your own.

I believe this is doable for you as well.
I pray for for your dream, you and your wife, the cows but mostly for the JD.

ss smile

btw
doing the journey with your wife trumps the farm.
But man the farms a real good addition.
And maybe a dog smile


Edited by SmartShadow (12/12/12 07:19 AM)

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#424562 - 02/07/13 12:36 AM Re: isolation [Re: cosmos]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
Originally Posted By: cosmos
Iíve always been alone and will always will be; .... but my situation taught me at an early age I had no one on this planet except me .....
I know that might be familiar to most of you reading this, but is it superficial for me to keep believing this;
......
Iíve always worked alone, travel alone, eat alone, just like then, always alone. I sit in a room typing with about 70 people besides myself, these are all strangers,


Cee

I am that way also...always alone... I was told by my mother that I was very outgoing as a very small child. But then I got that abuse with other boys by a pedo- who was taking movies. I became very withdrawn and shy. There is a book, Dibs In Search of Self, by Axline. It is an excellent book and a classic of the psychotherapeutic healing arts.

http://www.amazon.com/Dibs-Search-Self-Virginia-Axline/dp/0345339258/

I became like Dibs when I entered school. He is described as hiding under tables, not communicating with either teachers or other children. Dibs' healing is wonderfully described in this book.

I think I slowly progressed in my social skills during elementary school but then more abuse, especially the abuse in the scout camp, drove a much deeper wedge between me and other children and adults. I again became unable to communicate. I had counseling when I was 15. Now I can be in a crowded room and be totally alone. But again I'm slowly improving. I now start up conversations with strangers. I have a small group of friends who meet with me regularly for lunch or breakfast.

So, I conclude that it's a wound from the child abuse I experienced. It had the effect of socially isolating me.

Puffer

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#424583 - 02/07/13 04:21 AM . [Re: cosmos]
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
.


Edited by Life's A Dream (04/21/13 10:30 PM)

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