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#418650 - 12/10/12 12:11 AM Anyone's H go to a weekend of recovery?
RachelMac Offline


Registered: 08/26/12
Posts: 58
Hi all,
My husband is finally at a point where he said he WANTS my help. Wants me to help find him a therapist. He said he is willing to do what it takes. We had a bit of a setback over this weekend, which I don't feel emotionally ready to discuss, that prompted him to finally WANT help. He said he never felt this horrible in his life. Ugh.

So I agreed to help him of course. I've been looking non stop for the best doctors who can help him. In addition, I was looking at the info on the Weekends of Recovery. Anyone's husband ever attend one? Can any survivors on here comment on the helpfulness of a WoR? Did it help? Was it affordable? I think I may start squirreling some money away for this for him. Thanks as always for any input.

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#418655 - 12/10/12 12:30 AM Re: Anyone's H go to a weekend of recovery? [Re: RachelMac]
SamV Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/13/09
Posts: 5947
Loc: Talladega, Alabama, USA
Hello Rachel, my wife's husband went wink and it was life changing.

The program has been said to "experience years of therapy in three days". I can personally verify the accurateness of that statement. I was comfortable, safe, accompanied by fellow survivors, challenged only when I was ready and supported throughout the weekend and even a plan to keep recovering after the weekend.

An incredible experience, life changing. A must for survivors. That single event has helped me to adjust and coordinate my recovery to the success I and my wife have today.

I strongly encourage the two of you to pursue this, some financial help is available if need be, along with ride sharing if necessary.
_________________________
MaleSurvivor Moderator Emeritus 2012 - 2014

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#418663 - 12/10/12 01:34 AM Re: Anyone's H go to a weekend of recovery? [Re: RachelMac]
RunningOnEmpty Offline


Registered: 10/07/12
Posts: 91
Loc: georgia
..


Edited by RunningOnEmpty (01/01/13 07:51 PM)

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#418680 - 12/10/12 07:51 AM Re: Anyone's H go to a weekend of recovery? [Re: RachelMac]
Candu Offline


Registered: 06/30/12
Posts: 312
Loc: Canada
Originally Posted By: RachelMac
My husband is finally at a point where he said he WANTS my help. Wants me to help find him a therapist. He said he is willing to do what it takes. We had a bit of a setback over this weekend, which I don't feel emotionally ready to discuss, that prompted him to finally WANT help. He said he never felt this horrible in his life. Ugh.

There is a lot we can tolerate. Sometimes the only way we will do anything is when it gets bad enough.

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#419028 - 12/13/12 02:30 PM Re: Anyone's H go to a weekend of recovery? [Re: RachelMac]
1227ms Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/01/10
Posts: 98
Loc: PA
RachelMac,
Haven't been on here for a while because life is great and I don't need the support like I used to. Something drew me here today. Now I know what. Your question!
I am a survivor. I attended Hope Springs WOR in 2011. It was by far the most life altering thing I have ever done. I had been in active recovery (reading, journalism,seeing a therapist regularly) for a year before I felt I was ready for the WOR. I am copying my testimonial to Male-survivor below for you to read. It is probably the most heartfelt thing I have ever written. My advice to anyone wanting to go from victim to survivor is to get a good therapist, take the time to do the work and attend a WOR when it feels right.I say a good therapist because not all therapists are equipped to really help a male survivor. I saw 3 before finding the one who has helped guide me through the healing process. Like all others I talked to, I was scared s***less going to the WOR. I didn't know what to expect. I felt a sense of overwhelming calm and acceptance the moment I walked in and sat down. I have since gone through a divorce, started a household with my son, gotten a girlfriend and can honestly say that life is amazing now.

If you or your husband have any questions, feel free to ask. Either in the discussion boards or feel free to private message me also if it is more comfortable. There are many of us here who have been in your husbands position at one point in our lives. Life can be good again!!!!!! Good luck and God speed!

Sincerely,
Matt

To All, You dared me to look inside myself. You dared me to share what I saw. You dared me to become aware of my feelings. You dared me to share those feelings with you. You dared me to hear another man's story. You dared me to connect with him and share his pain. You dared me to tell my story. You dared me to share my pain with you. You dared me to connect with little Matt. You dared me to let him play. You dared me to dream!

Ever since I started this journey last November I have been taking steps. Baby steps, medium steps, large steps, backwards steps, sideways steps. Always steps, but never more than steps. At Hope Springs 32 men and 3 women held my hand and dared me to leap. I leapt, landed safely and leapt again. Each of you have a special place in heart. Each of you brought and shared something unique. Each of you were individuals. Together you were my family. I will always remember and celebrate the 4th weekend in October as my rebirth day.

Your friend and brother,
Hope Springs alumnus 2011
_________________________
“Everything becomes a little different as soon as it is spoken out loud.”
Hermann Hesse

Hope Springs alumnus 2011

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#419325 - 12/17/12 12:29 AM Re: Anyone's H go to a weekend of recovery? [Re: RachelMac]
RachelMac Offline


Registered: 08/26/12
Posts: 58
Thanks everyone. My H starts his first therapy session on Tuesday. She sounded great on the phone and seemed extremely knowledgeable about these issues. I just hope there is some chemistry and he feels comfortable and can finally start to heal. I have this terrible feeling in my stomach that he will find some way to bail on this (he hasn't indicated to me that he doesn't want to go or anything, I'm just used to him bailing on things, etc.) Hopefully when the time is right, he will register on this site and attend a Weekend of Recovery. Thanks again.

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