Newest Members
Stormchaser, johnnyc717, bluebook, Roscoe, SJC
12314 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
clutzygurl (22), dun (50), Gene (50), ufp1964 (50), Zoot (68)
Who's Online
2 registered (pattom, traveler), 14 Guests and 4 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12314 Members
74 Forums
63355 Topics
443005 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Page 2 of 17 < 1 2 3 4 ... 16 17 >
Topic Options
#418518 - 12/08/12 01:25 PM Re: Johnny Gosch doc on MSNBC [Re: SoccerStar]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6843
Loc: USA
The question at this point is: Who did it?

Another contributor to the Kidnap Survival thread suggested that I view a documentary. (kidneythis)

http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=422150&page=1

http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthr...8937#Post318937

I followed his suggestion and about a third of the way through I saw some frames in which I recognized my abuser when I was 12.

It had to be that kidney had encountered my abuser when he was being mistreated in a New Jersey center. He recognized that I had been abused by the same person and so he offered me the video link in which I visually identified my abuser.

This is the doccumentary:
http://channel.nationalgeographic.com/channel/videos/cia-secret-experiments/

This is a screen-capture of him. He's the tall man with the black tie, in the military uniform. He's standing with his arms folded:



Or, in a closeup view:



If this is really him, and I believe it is, then this gives us a lot of information about him.

Puffer



Edited by pufferfish (01/15/13 11:33 AM)

Top
#418623 - 12/09/12 09:38 PM Re: Johnny Gosch doc on MSNBC [Re: pufferfish]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6843
Loc: USA
I'm sorry if I'm pushing this too hard. It's just that it's caused a lot of pain. It didn't get better on it's own.

This is 2 weeks after the camp:


This is me at Christmas time, age 13, or 1 1/2 years after trauma:


This is age 14, or 2 1/2 years after the trauma. Taken at school:


Puffer



Edited by pufferfish (12/11/12 04:36 PM)

Top
#418642 - 12/09/12 11:46 PM Re: Johnny Gosch doc on MSNBC [Re: cant_remember]
cant_remember Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/05
Posts: 1039
((((((((Puffer))))))))))

Never apologize. Not here.

You can tell us what happened to you as many times as you need to. We love you so much. Our brother; our uncle.

Cant
_________________________
Recovery is possible. Hang in there, brothers.

Top
#418715 - 12/10/12 11:55 AM Re: Johnny Gosch doc on MSNBC [Re: cant_remember]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6843
Loc: USA
*** triggering ***

How can I say this? My "gut" feeling has always been that he tried to "snuff" me. I claim that I saw another boy snuffed on Wednesday night. He repeatedly threatened to kill me and said I could or would show up as a drowning victim. The camp was near a large body of water, the Chesapeake Bay.

But when I say that, ... it immediately sounds suspicious to people. 'Well if you were snuffed then why are you typing this post right now?' So I just have to tell it as I remember it. Some of this came up in EMDR.

Wednesday night another boy came into the isolated tent where the abuse was taking place. I didn't know the boy. The boy was briefly introduced by first name. I think I remember that his name was Bobby. He had reddish-blond hair in a crew cut and he had a roundish face. I think he was 13. The perp put us into a '3-way'. He then snuffed the other boy by deep-throating him. He told me 'Look what you did, you killed him'. He carried the boy out of the tent. The boy was very limp. He wanted me to feel like I did it. Then the next night he deep-throated me. I passed out. I thought I had been killed but I came back out of it. I saw light all around before coming out. This is how they describe near-death experiences. Even some of the therapists I told this to didn't believe me.

http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=418699#Post418699

Another clinical observer, looking at my pictures afterward, said I had experienced blunt force trauma. All I knew of was that it was snuffing by deep-throating.

Afterward I was quite confused. But if I even say this it tends to refute what I'm saying. So I just go ahead and say it.

Many years later, after remembering this stuff, I searched the archives of the Washington Post and found a number of instances of boys' bodies showing up as having been drowned.

Puffer





Edited by pufferfish (12/10/12 08:54 PM)

Top
#418829 - 12/11/12 04:53 PM Re: Johnny Gosch doc on MSNBC [Re: pufferfish]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6843
Loc: USA
*** May be triggering or annoying to some ***

As a 12-year-old little boy I of course had little insight as to how the abuse I experienced would fit into a larger picture.

I have been reading a book which I think gives a lot of insight as to how my experience in being abused for 2 weeks at scout camp fit into a larger picture. The book is: The Franklin Scandal: A Story of Powerbrokers, Child Abuse & Betrayal, by Nick Bryant.

http://www.amazon.com/Franklin-Scandal-Story-Powerbrokers-Betrayal/dp/1936296071/

The problem was that my abuse took place in 1951. I had no idea that it might be linked to events way outside of my experience.

The first thing that happened was that the abuser visited my mother while I was at school in November 1951. I was appalled when I came home from school and learned of it. He brought a leather badge of accomplishment that I had "attended Camp Theodore Roosevelt". It heightened my fear. He knew who I was and where I lived. He had threatened to find me and kill me if I ever "told". The threats were accompanied by placing the point of a hunting knife against my ribs so I could feel it.

But this book on the Franklin Scandal seems to open up a lot of insight as to what happened. There is an entire chapter in this book on child abuse and sex rings in Washington DC. There was a pedophile ring leader named Craig Spence,

http://franklinscandal.com/

http://franklinscandal.com/franklinscandal_wdcinfo1.html

I identified the photo of my abuser in a previous post, where he is wearing a military uniform. The setting of the picture is a high-level meeting about the testing of LSD on civilians and military personnel.

On page 315 of the book I cite above, it says that
Quote:

We had some very big-name clients in all walks of life...in the military, and....


Originally Posted By: page 313

King said they had clients who actually liked having sex with kids as they tortured them or killed the kid.


These statements seemed to agree with my experience and shed light on it.

Another quote from this book, The Franklin Scandal:

Originally Posted By: page 503

Bonacci also told me about a high-ranking military officer who was in cahoots with King and
Spence's pedophilic blackmail enterprise -- he said that the military officer in question was a Satanist and a pedophile. The military officer Bonacci alluded to is an admitted Satanist, and he was implicated in the molestation of several children.


OK. Now to return to another aspect of my experience, I was abused at a summer camp for boys... I found the following reference to experimentation in the use of LSD on children in summer camps. I was not subjected to LSD in 1951 (fortunately). The book I cite is: A Question of Torture: CIA Interrogation, From the Cold War to the War on Terror, by Alfred W. McCoy.

http://www.amazon.com/Question-Torture-Interrogation-American-Project/dp/0805082484/

Originally Posted By: page 29

From 1953 to 1963.... slip LSD ... ... pumped hallucinogens into children in summer camp...


So, yes, I think this is an allusion to experimentation on children in summer camps. Yes I was a child in a summer camp. I think my abuser had easy access to children in summer camps. I think he used that as a jumping-off-place for abuse and even experimentation on children. This seems to augment my experience where I thought he was experimenting with torture and brain-washing techniques.

Puffer



Edited by pufferfish (12/11/12 08:01 PM)

Top
#418846 - 12/11/12 07:37 PM Re: Johnny Gosch doc on MSNBC [Re: cant_remember]
SoccerStar Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 915
Loc: New York
That's... the same Bonacci who swears as a young teen held by a pedo ring he was forced to help kidnap Johnny Gosch? The one Noreen Gosch believes? The one who'd had all 10 of his fingers broken and was found credible in a court of law that ruled in his favor?

Holy shit Puffer... stay strong...!
_________________________
My story

"Don't think it hasn't been a little slice of heaven just because it hasn't!" --Bugs Bunny

Top
#418849 - 12/11/12 08:05 PM Re: Johnny Gosch doc on MSNBC [Re: SoccerStar]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6843
Loc: USA
I've started receiving suspicious telephone calls, so I must be on-target.

Puffer

Edited:

I only received one "silent" phone call. No other problems have developed. I'm OK.

Yes it was the same Bonacci. I've never met him. I've only read about him in those books and seen vids of him. He went through much worse than I did.

I had just started my years of recovery when I saw the posters about Johnny Gosch. I was deeply affected and would break into tears over them. I snitched one of them and I still have it.

Puf



Edited by pufferfish (12/12/12 10:37 AM)

Top
#418850 - 12/11/12 08:26 PM Re: Johnny Gosch doc on MSNBC [Re: cant_remember]
traveler Online   confused
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3355
Loc: somewhere in Africa
Puffer - please keep yourself SAFE!

i have followed your thread with interest and concern. i have nothing else to contribute beyond the fact that i believe you and support you in your quest for truth and accountability.

just - be CAREFUL!
Lee
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


Top
#418871 - 12/12/12 02:27 AM Re: Johnny Gosch doc on MSNBC [Re: cant_remember]
crazy gecko Offline


Registered: 10/04/12
Posts: 309
Oh wow, Puffer. This is scary.

I agree with Lee - please keep yourself safe!
_________________________
I guess what I'm trying to say
Is whose life is it anyway because livin'
Living is the best revenge
You can play
-- Def Leppard

My Story, Part 2

My blog

Top
#418910 - 12/12/12 10:32 AM Re: Johnny Gosch doc on MSNBC [Re: crazy gecko]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6843
Loc: USA
There was only one scary call. It was only the type that the phone rings and when you answer it there is just silence... No threats or anything. No more calls. I slept securely and I'm OK.

Puffer

Top
Page 2 of 17 < 1 2 3 4 ... 16 17 >


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.