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#41868 - 02/11/03 11:41 AM Re: The Poll of all Polls.
Wuamei Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
Jer, those are all good questions, any of which could probably in some way be put in the form of a poll.

Some of the ones that particularly speak to me right now that I'd like to maybe see a poll on, somewhat in order I guess:

  • Do you think you have a sexual addiction?
  • If you feel emotionally/socially stunted or arrested, at what age would you rate yourself?
  • What tools/tricks/coping mechanisms have been most effective in your recovery?
  • What do you do for fun now?
  • Do you have good memories from childhood?
  • Are you in pyscho-therapy now?
  • What do you want most from life?
  • Are current events (global, social, environmental, economics, etc.) having a negative impact on you now?
  • Do you have a spiritual life? How do you practise it?
  • How big of an impact has your sexual abuse experience(s) had on your life?
  • How disfunctional was your family (or whatever you grew up in) when you were growing up?
  • Did you feel like a social outcast in school? Starting when - elementary, jr. high, high school, college?



Quote:
For me, knowing that I'm not alone with my laundry list of post sexual abuse/childhood neglect consequences is a bridge to making connections with other survivors of SA. So many times somebody has posted something here that has stuck a chord with me that helps me to know that I'm not a freak.

These polls could serve as a beacon for areas the MaleSurvivor Organization could focus on.

jer
That's a very good point Jer. Polls are not just about stats they are about people.

Victor


_________________________
"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

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#41869 - 02/11/03 11:48 AM Re: The Poll of all Polls.
MrEdd Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/24/03
Posts: 317
Loc: Texas
What Blaid said .

_________________________
Some Things are not problems to be solved, rather, they are facts which must be coped with over time.

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#41870 - 02/11/03 11:52 AM Re: The Poll of all Polls.
Chey-Wy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/01/02
Posts: 241
Loc: Cheyenne, WY
Jer

What a great bunch of ideas. I think that these might get something started. A few of them gave me ideas for some other polls.

Take care,

John

_________________________
From the Song MOUNTAINS by Lonestar.

Yeah, the good Lord gave us mountains,
So we could learn how to climb

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#41871 - 02/11/03 02:39 PM Re: The Poll of all Polls.
Wifey1 Offline
Member

Registered: 12/03/02
Posts: 380
dont mean to butt in (yes i do)
how about maybe asking also

do you have any diagnosed physical ailments
i.e. sleep disorders, heart disease, diabetes, crohns etc.?

Wifey1


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#41872 - 02/11/03 05:46 PM Re: The Poll of all Polls.
Wuamei Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
Quote:
dont mean to butt in (yes i do)
how about maybe asking also

do you have any diagnosed physical ailments
i.e. sleep disorders, heart disease, diabetes, crohns etc.?

Wifey1
Thanks Wifey1, that's one I forgot that is actually near the top of my list! I also wanted to ask specifically about how many have chronic pain disorders like fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, etc. And whether or not this has been diagnosed (dx'd) as being a direct result of SA trauma.

Gotta remember to keep that one in mind for future reference. Thanks again! \:\)

Victor


_________________________
"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

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#41873 - 02/11/03 06:50 PM Re: The Poll of all Polls.
Chey-Wy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/01/02
Posts: 241
Loc: Cheyenne, WY
Add to the Physical ailments Temporal Mandibular Dysfunction.

Here is a quote from a letter that my dentist sent to my attorney:

Quote:

I have treated John for Temporal Mandibular Dysfunction since October of 1999. It was at that point that John mentioned that he was suffering form chronic pain in his Temporalamndibular Joint and Temporal headaches. John was treated wit a mandibular flat plane splintin May of 2000.

In my opinion, almost all cases of bruxism and pain in the Temporal Mandibular Joint are largely due to some form of stress in the individuals life. It seems that grinding of one's teeth is how some of us deal with that stress.

Sincerely,

Mark ... D.D.S.

Mark (my dentist) knows about the S A and thinks that probably the reason that I grind my teeth is my way of compensating for the S A trauma.

I am anxious for the polls to get going.

John

_________________________
From the Song MOUNTAINS by Lonestar.

Yeah, the good Lord gave us mountains,
So we could learn how to climb

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#41874 - 02/11/03 10:57 PM Re: The Poll of all Polls.
The Dean Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 07/15/02
Posts: 2080
Loc: Milwaukee, WI
Hi John, I have had bruxism for years--I wear a night gard that helps during the night. But I do exercises during the day to loosen up.

Surgery was suggested to me. I talked to a couple of guys who had had the surgery and they were not positive about it so I will continue with what I have.

Did your dentist give you some exerecises to do?

Bob

_________________________
If we do not live what we believe, then we will begin to believe what we live.

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#41875 - 02/12/03 12:15 AM Re: The Poll of all Polls.
blacken Offline
Chatroom Moderator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 08/13/01
Posts: 1306
Loc: Northern Ohio
Well, I see polls as a cold way of interacting. This forum is for discussion. I would hate to see the "Polls" taking over.

And all of those Poll questions can be addressed in the Forum, and discussed. You start a topic and then get feedback. People give opinions, feelings are expressed, diffent points of view are brought to bair.

And I find being asked those direct,extreemly personal questions quite intrusive

But I guess I cant stand in the way of progress

_________________________
Everyone is a genius! If you were to judge a fish, by its ability to climb a tree,
it would think it was stupid all of it's life.
~Albert Einstein

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#41876 - 02/12/03 01:19 PM Re: The Poll of all Polls.
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
My entirely personal view lies somewhere in the middle I think.
Polls such as the other one I posted asking how long it had been since we sought help will hopefuly provide some useful guide as to the experiences of recovery we have as a group, and at the same time I don't think it's intrusive or likely to triggering or contreversial.

I think that if we start comparing our abuse by using polls then we run the risk of indulging in 'league tables' of abuse.
That could be as damaging as it could be helpful. It might well reasure someone that because he was abused by the largest group then he couldn't possibly be to blame, but could it also make someone ask themselves "is it really that important then, if I'm in such a big group ?"

Maybe I'm wrong, but my view ( not as administrator ) is that I can see a good reason for collecting hard data, such as the suggestion of possible physical ailments, but less reason for just asking who did what to us and when.

Dave

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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#41877 - 02/12/03 11:06 PM Re: The Poll of all Polls.
Don-NY Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/06/02
Posts: 546
Loc: Long Island, NY
Just a few ideas about polls. I know I contradict myself.
************************************************


I wouldn't mind if there weren't any polls.

I don't think polls serve any real purpose unless they require a yes or no answer. But even then, it's arguable.

Some of the questions listed above I wouldn't mind answering, depending on the choices of course. And I'd really like to know if current events are giving other Survivors a hard time too. Hmmm. Maybe I should just ask????

I think they can lead to unfortunate comparisons and harmful conclusions. Look at the How Long poll. 30% have been in therapy 10 years or more. That can be pretty discouraging. It's easy to overlook the fact that that is 30% of only 27 responses, or 8 people.

There's no ability to explain an answer. Look at how many of us were compelled to explain and amplify what we answered in the poll.

But actually that may be a good point to polls, if they encourage discussions.

They could also be a way for someone to say something without saying it. An anonymous answer that they might not feel comfortable posting.

Then there is the great burden on the pollster. It is very difficult to come up with an unbiased question, and then he has to come up with a variety of answers to that question.

A question might also be loaded with assumptions or prejudices that might be very common but are far from universal.

The "How Long" poll doesn't have a choice for "I'm not in therapy - haven't started yet". I wonder how many more responses there would be if that choice were in there?

Oh well, I always have the choice not to answer a poll. But I hope that there is always an answer that means "none of the above" or "this question doesn't apply to me".

_________________________
If you understand everything, some things are just as they are. If you understand nothing, things are still just as they are.

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