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#418759 - 12/10/12 08:07 PM Re: Just invited to meet his therapist - IN ONE HOUR! [Re: Valkyrie]
traveler Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3193
Loc: back in the USA
Valkyrie - so happy to hear this!

my wife and i see my T on a regular basis.

it has been tremendously helpful for both of us.

Lee
_________________________
We are often troubled, but not crushed;
sometimes in doubt, but never in despair;
there are many enemies, but we are never without a friend;
and though badly hurt at times, we are not destroyed.
- Paul, II Cor 4:8-9

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#418760 - 12/10/12 08:21 PM Re: Just invited to meet his therapist - IN ONE HOUR! [Re: Valkyrie]
Valkyrie Offline


Registered: 04/27/12
Posts: 167
Traveler: may I ask why that is? Is this a usual practice or does it replace marriage counseling?

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#418768 - 12/10/12 10:35 PM Re: Just invited to meet his therapist - IN ONE HOUR! [Re: Valkyrie]
traveler Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3193
Loc: back in the USA
why we both see the T?

he is available.
he is not a specialist.
not many options.
fortunately he is good.
it simplifies things that he knows all my issues and also can help with our relationship.
not marriage counseling per se...
don't know what is usual.
i don't think we are the ususal case.
it works for us.
_________________________
We are often troubled, but not crushed;
sometimes in doubt, but never in despair;
there are many enemies, but we are never without a friend;
and though badly hurt at times, we are not destroyed.
- Paul, II Cor 4:8-9

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#418779 - 12/11/12 01:48 AM Re: Just invited to meet his therapist - IN ONE HOUR! [Re: Valkyrie]
crazy gecko Offline


Registered: 10/04/12
Posts: 309
Originally Posted By: Valkyrie
Gecko: it was enormously helpful, not just for me, but also for my H. The T was able to translate some of the things I was saying in a way my H could be better understand and vice versa. Just learning what kind of therapy model they are using, what are the ongoing concerns my H has, and what are sticking points was incredibly informative. She also provided good tips in what to look for in a marriage counselor.

All in all, I feel like my H and I have turned a corner. I don't expect easy sailing, he has a long way to go in therapy, but I think he really believes that he is safe with me and I am always in his corner.

Thank you.

I think I will talk to my T about my girlfriend joining us for a session some time early next year. smile
_________________________
I guess what I'm trying to say
Is whose life is it anyway because livin'
Living is the best revenge
You can play
-- Def Leppard

My Story, Part 2

My blog

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#419066 - 12/13/12 09:31 PM Re: Just invited to meet his therapist - IN ONE HOUR! [Re: Valkyrie]
Valkyrie Offline


Registered: 04/27/12
Posts: 167
Gecko: update us on how that goes. Wishing you the best.

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#419344 - 12/17/12 04:50 AM Re: Just invited to meet his therapist - IN ONE HOUR! [Re: Valkyrie]
whome Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/07/11
Posts: 1734
Loc: Johannesburg South Africa
Hi Valkyrie

I was reading the post relating to your visit with the husbands T, and I am glad that it went well.
I had a thought on going to a marriage councillor, and what struck me is that I was not ready to go to a marriage councillor until I had sorted out myself. I was absolutely in no state to repair a broken marriage when I could not even help myself.

In hindsight It might have been wise to do a little work on the marriage, but I don't know how ready I was for that or if I would even have coped.
Right now I am happy, things have worked out for us and I feel that I now know who I am and I can now focus on spoiling the woman that I KNOW I love and want.
It has and is still taking time to build up trust again, but that could take years, but the most important thing is that I am well and able to focus on things other than myself, even when I was not dealing with my CSA, I was so self centred and selfish. I really don't know how this precious gem of a woman put up with my crap for so long.

You guys are all in my prayers and I wish you all a speedy recovery from the darkness that is CSA.

Heal well all
Martin
_________________________
Matrix Men South Africa
Survivors Supporting Each other
Matrix Men Blog

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#419560 - 12/19/12 02:13 PM Re: Just invited to meet his therapist - IN ONE HOUR! [Re: Valkyrie]
Valkyrie Offline


Registered: 04/27/12
Posts: 167
Whome: you bring up a great point. We started out in marriage counseling before my H got into a therapist for his CSA. It was too soon, we were too raw, and he was too messed up for it to be even remotely helpful. That, and our counselor was AWFUL.

I switched therapist, my H has dug in with his, and after a year, we are going to start up marriage counseling again. This time, I feel hopeful. This time, we did the work to find the right fit. We don't start until after the new year, but I am strangely looking forward to the experience. It's nice to feel hope this time of year.

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