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#418487 - 12/08/12 12:37 AM The Wounded Heart
Jude Offline

Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1633
Loc: New England
I am reading the book: The Wounded Heart by Dan Allender. Its a Christian perspective on healing from childhood sexual abuse. Anybody read it? I'm kind of struggling with the presumption of sin on the part of the victim, and the need to repent, to be healed and become close to God. I know what my sins are (see my many posts), but it feels too much like blaming the victim. But maybe I'm not reading it right. I'd be interested in hearing what others thought of the book.

I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
Sarah McLachlan

#418494 - 12/08/12 02:35 AM Re: The Wounded Heart [Re: Jude]
traveler Offline

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3817
Loc: somewhere in Africa
Dude - er, Jude!

i read it too and i took it the same way. sounded to me not like he was saying that the abuse was the victim's fault (blaming the victim) - but like any response to the abuse that included denial, dissociation, repression of memories or anything other than total acceptance - was essentially untruthful = living a lie and therefore a sin that needed to be repented. i reacted very strongly and negatively to that assumption.

that being said - the book also had some very valuable insights - based on research and other documented sources as well as the author's own counselling experience - that i found helpful. i talked it over with my T and and he said - "no one is right all the time. take what you find useful and put the rest aside." he did not agree with the idea of repenting of dissociation as if it were a sin. it is a survival technique - and often the only option to a victim, not a conscious choice.

i'd be glad to discuss it more if you want - either here or by PM.

A man talking sense to himself is no madder than a man talking nonsense to not himself.
Or just as mad.
So there you are.
Stark raving sane.
- Tom Stoppard, Rosencrantz & Guildenstern are Dead


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