I used to put on a game face
to meet the world.
Like Eleanor Rigby,
I kept it by the door
so I could grab it
every time I went out.
But now I find my own features
have been too long behind that mask;
They find it hard to relax and soften,
to adapt to the changes,
to adopt the appropriate responses
to events and conversations,
thoughts and feelings.
I want to change the face I wear,
the way I change my mind.
I want to change my self-image,
the way I change my clothes.
I want to change my self,
the way I change the channels on the TV.
Instead – I am stuck – undecided,
half-dressed, between channels.
but uncertain of the outcome…
11 29 12
They have greatly oppressed me from my youth, but they have not gained the victory over me.
Plowmen have plowed my back and made their furrows long.
But the Lord is righteous; he has cut me free from the cords of the wicked.