I used to put on a game face
to meet the world.
Like Eleanor Rigby,
I kept it by the door
so I could grab it
every time I went out.
But now I find my own features
have been too long behind that mask;
They find it hard to relax and soften,
to adapt to the changes,
to adopt the appropriate responses
to events and conversations,
thoughts and feelings.
I want to change the face I wear,
the way I change my mind.
I want to change my self-image,
the way I change my clothes.
I want to change my self,
the way I change the channels on the TV.
Instead – I am stuck – undecided,
half-dressed, between channels.
but uncertain of the outcome…
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"Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself... And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity." - Paulo Coelho