Why are you here? I heard question
I’m not sure
I have some issues
But nothing specific
She looked trough me:
You are very lonely
It is kind of wasteland
No one alive is there
Do you feel lonely?
Well I've never been alone in my life
I've grown with constant company
There were always me and my twin
Two of us as one being
Or me and my sis
Or many other kids
Physically I’ve never been alone
Where are all they now?
Well my mum died when I was fourteen
My bro is abroad
My sister is abroad
And my father is abroad
I'm alone in this city; I can add that I’m alone in this country
Yes now when I say I'm feeling very lonely
But it is nothing recent
I was six years old boy
Weather was beautiful, sunny with blue sky
I’m going out, to play with my friend
We are walking to nearby hill
I love view on city from above
I love to feel lost when viewing distant mountains
Well that was day when he offered me other kind of game
He put me on the ground
We didn’t talk much
He is laying on me
And imitate making love
I’m feeling strange and lost
My body reacts with excitement
I know that is wrong
I feel shame and guilt
I don’t have many memories left
Just sense of emptiness on my way back
At one point between top of the hill and nearby city
At that point I stuck forever
Not able to tell what has happened
Not able to ask for help
Not able to ask for hope
Not able to cry
It is cursed place
From time to time, even now,
thirty years later, I’m still standing there
and waiting in despair and loneliness…
Forever lost between life and death
And feeling that no one can come near
I can’t ask anything beside:
How come that lost boy still believes that everything will be alright?