I think that sounds like Depersonalization Disorder, which I've had in abundance. I would try to find myself in other people.
Yup, that is what it is. I was diagnosed at 23, along with PTSD, BPD and major depression.
I've looked up the number for my old school. I plan to call them and ask if they still have the year books from the years I was there. For some reason I'm stalling, though. I've reached for the phone at least 10 times, but I haven't had the courage to dial the number. I'm not sure what I'm afraid of. Am I afraid that they won't have them, and it will turn out to be another dead-end, another disappointment? Or am I afraid that they will have them? I don't know. I want
to see what I looked like as a child, but at the same time, I guess I'm scared of what I will see and how I will react...
I hate this. I should never have this much time to think about doing something this big. I inevitably end up over-thinking it and driving myself crazy...
I guess what I'm trying to say
Is whose life is it anyway because livin'
Living is the best revenge
You can play
-- Def LeppardMy Story
, Part 2My blog