I can relate,
I have spent so much time managing a sence of cohesion that I am socially awkward a lot of the time. I try and stay in the back ground and have learned to redirect conversations to cover it up. Sort of works as long as you keep moving and don't give any one to much access. Tough duble bind. Isolation is bad, but being real and vulnerable not so easy.
And how do you find a safe person anyway.
I have found people fall into "Less Safe and More Safe"
As soon as I feal the odd man out the others are less safe.
Note to self:
Stand up and keep your footing,
You are not alone. This place is full of people who will reach out to help.