he becomes a statue I fear he is doing it as a kind of defense mechanism so that he doesn't escalate any further emotion. It feels like he sometimes isn't present. An I fear that he does this so he doesn't just lash out and say "well you think THATS a tough break...?!"
That is exactly what I do. I literally "shut down" my emotions. And yes - I do it when I am afraid that my emotions will escalate beyond my control, because I don't want to hurt those around me. But perhaps more because the power of my own emotions frightens me... I am afraid to let go and allow the anger to flow, because I'm afraid I won't be able to control it, and would end up doing something terrible. I know what I'm capable of. I can be dangerous when I loose control. Sometimes I have to shut down to stay in control...
I'd rather be disconnected than a wife-beater. I couldn't live with myself if I got physically aggressive with the woman I love... Forgiving myself for the verbal abuse I've thrown at various people I love in the past is hard enough...
I guess what I'm trying to say
Is whose life is it anyway because livin'
Living is the best revenge
You can play
-- Def LeppardMy Story
, Part 2My blog