Newest Members
Stormchaser, johnnyc717, bluebook, Roscoe, SJC
12314 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
blueturtle (46), David C (40), DavidC (40), Derdlecar (61), Hector (54)
Who's Online
1 registered (1 invisible), 27 Guests and 4 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12314 Members
74 Forums
63359 Topics
443049 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Page 3 of 5 < 1 2 3 4 5 >
Topic Options
#418075 - 12/03/12 07:17 PM Re: I was seen as a pedophile [Re: Shyshark]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6397
Loc: 2.5 NATO Nations
Originally Posted By: Shyshark
Twice in those early years I had no choice but to strip a 5 year old down to his socks.
One threw up 1/2 a hamburger and spilled his glass of coke all over himself ...
The other wet himself ...
Both were stuck at the airport due to weather problems and would be with us for hours.


OK...you just brought flashbacks of holiday travel with my wee-ones. I am SO happy they can run to puke in a toilet all by themselves now...

At least I hope they can at 11 & 14.

Sorry......WAY off topic here.
_________________________
Wish You Were Here!

The Aftermath Video

The Water Buffalo Song

Top
#418170 - 12/04/12 02:44 PM Re: I was seen as a pedophile [Re: Dolphinboy]
Shyshark Offline


Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 412
Loc: Canada
No ... it's not off topic Still ... it brought up thoughts of your own children, and vacations.
So let me clear up a few things.

This was rarely a vacation for them. Sometimes it was fun for them... often it was not.
Being shuttled back and forth between bitterly divorced parents was not a vacation.
I remember walking a little girl to the gate to take her flight and chatting about where she was going and why ... and she responded ...
"I'm going to live with my grandma ... my daddy is in jail and my mom doesn't want me anymore."
Just try keeping tears from your eyes when an 8 year old suddenly confronts you with that.

Those boys, like all UMs, were ALONE, and were placed in our OFFICE where the wall was solid window ... for their safe keeping.
Agents came and went constantly to do paperwork, sit and have a coffee or eat on their breaks ... the children were rarely alone for more than a minute or two, and there were toys and books and a tv, and 2 small couches if they wanted to have a nap.
There was no bathroom facility nearby. They were told to tell one of us if they needed to go and one of us would take them to the public washrooms ... even if they were already 12, and an agent would stand nearby until they had finished.

I myself was sitting at one end of the counter we used for work while the one boy, having said he was hungry, was eating a hamburger and fries, brought for him from the restaurant, was at the other end. I suddenly heard him push his chair violently away from the counter and vomit all over himself and spill his coke in his lap.

The other boy had sat quietly for God knows how long in a puddle of his own pee until one of us noticed.

I was the only male on duty both times.

And I was lucky ... a few other agents had to deal with much worse than vomit or urine.

The children were always upset ... usually embarrassed ... but often afraid of what the person picking them up would have to say about all the trouble and personal embarrassment to themselves the kid had caused ... my 2 boys certainly were.
And exactly how do you think a blubbering 5 year old is supposed to clean himself up ... including a urine sodden pair of undies.
And ... this was an AIRPORT!!!!
We had work to do. This had to be done as quickly as possible and without further upsetting the child. Older ones were far worse time wise ... it could take them forever to do it themselves ...
and they wanted and deserved privacy at an older age ... so an agent would have to be near them until they were done.

So even an 11 year old who doesn't say something soon enough ... can't just run to a toilet to puke in 30 seconds or less.

Boy ... this has gotten a lot longer than I thought ... lol

My original story is missing what was meant to be the end ...
but I thought about it and decided to leave it unfinished in order to get a few reactions before I finished it.

I will finish it ... if anyone wants to hear why I wrote this all in the first place.
_________________________
Experience is a brutal teacher.

Top
#418261 - 12/05/12 11:19 AM Re: I was seen as a pedophile [Re: Dolphinboy]
panda Offline


Registered: 12/05/12
Posts: 16
Loc: Michigan
my ex (then-fiancee) was accused of being a pedophile just for being a transsexual woman. she is also a survivor. and her friend specifically asked her to watch his friend's children to make sure they didn't run into some street and some bigot across the street came over and harassed her.

Top
#433915 - 05/07/13 06:27 PM Re: I was seen as a pedophile [Re: Dolphinboy]
bodyguard8367 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 1159
Loc: ""
""


Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/27/14 03:00 PM)

Top
#433955 - 05/07/13 10:26 PM Re: I was seen as a pedophile [Re: Shyshark]
Chase Eric Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 1305
I feel compelled to share this rather humorous story after reading this thread because it touches on the same subject. Although it's sort of funny, it taught me a big lesson.

I was with family on a DisneyWorld visit, and we were at a character breakfast. For those not familiar, that is when characters like Goofy, Mickey, Pluto and others from the Disney cartoons mingle with the adults and kids for photos. I took wonderful pictures of my little nephew standing there with Donald Duck. Well after I took the pics, I started reviewing them on the LCD screen on the back of my camera. At that point a Jamaican waitress looked at me, laughing but shaking her head and waiving the "naughty finger" at me. Strange. What did I do?

Yikes! That's when it hit me that as I was reviewing the pics, I was completely unaware where my camera was pointed - straight at Donald Duck's Butt in close range. I looked at her and said, "Oh no! It's not like you think...", but she just walked away laughing and I gave up trying to convince her.

From then on, whenever I've reviewed images on a camera, I have been very conscious of where it is pointed.

I hope that did not hijack the thread, but DolphinBoy's situation really resonated with me. DolphinBoy, you definitively did not deserve that.
_________________________



Click my pic to see why I'm here

Top
#434136 - 05/09/13 03:14 PM Re: I was seen as a pedophile [Re: Dolphinboy]
ThisMan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/22/13
Posts: 767
Loc: upper south
Dolphinboy.

It's too bad your wonderful outing was ruined by this experience. I wish to reiterate that you did nothing wrong. I find it unbelievable (but not really) that adults treat others as poorly as this. The parents obviously are confrontational and belligerent. I'm going to agree with Geoff that the mom's fears were irrational. Not only was she irrational in her fears, but she was irrational in her aggressive approach toward a complete stranger (you), with her children in tow, thus putting them in possible immediate danger.

I am glad you asked for the apology. I'm not surprised you didn't get one, but glad you asked for one. You deserved it.
_________________________
For now we see through a glass, darkly.



Top
#434152 - 05/09/13 04:39 PM Re: I was seen as a pedophile [Re: Dolphinboy]
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 1963
Loc: durham, north england
Dolphin Boy, I can only agree with people here, you were doing nothing wrong, indeed the parents owed you a "sorry" at the very least.

One thing I have noticed recently is that "pedophiles" are turning into the modern witche hunt (I indeed saw a production of the Crucible which mentioned this in the program notes), and even the slightest shadow of an incling of a suspicion.

it's difficult, because the genuine thing as far too many people here have experienced is! indeed something evil, wrong and damaging, however I also find it worrying that men can't go anywhere near any children at all without some sort of suspicion, ---- often it's indeed an excuse for mistreatment of men and discrimination against males generally, especially since we all know how society sees male survivers of sa.

Think about it, if a woman had done exactly what you'd done, would there have been anything said at all? It wasn't after all as if the kids there were! undressed or anything.

I have a friend who worked as a teachers' assistant in a primary school. His then girlfriend, now wife is a teacher, so it was a natural way for him to earn some part time cash.

The problem however is he was given a stern to thee point of paranoid lecture about never touching kids, and rarely if ever coming near them.
One little girl of about four, apparently decided she adored my friend. I find this quite likely since he's generally a very gentle, playful and inciteful person, however he said he was petrified of losing his job because this girl would show her affection by throwing herself on him and hugging him at every opportunity.

he's now actually got a little girl of his own, and is someone I'd absolutely trust, heck he's one of the people who knows the full history of my own abuse, yet why should such a man as that fear being branded as a pedophile? It's like saying every man who goes into a bank with a large bag must be a bank robber.

This isn't of course to say the gneuine thing should be allowed or that the police shouldn't try to actually stop people, epseically those in authority from causing such amazing hurt, but there's no reason to suspect everyone! or particularly every man, that just creates an over all climate of fear and even makes the real pedophile's go under the radar since if you suspect everyone! you can't watch out for the one who is.

Top
#434169 - 05/09/13 08:10 PM Re: I was seen as a pedophile [Re: Dolphinboy]
Poorsoft Offline


Registered: 02/20/13
Posts: 163
They went way over the top, you had every right to be angry about it too.

Their reasoning is no justifaction to treat you as if you were guilty.

Don't take it personally, I'll be honest with you if I saw someone aiming a camera at my kid, I would carefuly watch and ensure it wasnt just a fluke of the moment. They hugely over reacted and it pisses me off. Well done for getting them to say sorry.

When my mother found me one evening wearing a diaper (I got drunk and careless, kinda just lay on my bed chilling) she asked if I was a fucking pedorast! Then if someone did something. I cried, I was heart broken but it was also a sort of panicked reaction from being found out. Felt like I did something terrible, which makes me think about the whole 'keeping things secret'. I think the tears were the learned reaction of 'oh shit I said too much, now my family are gonna die'.

Top
#434834 - 05/16/13 08:35 AM Re: I was seen as a pedophile [Re: Poorsoft]
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
Originally Posted By: Poorsoft
They went way over the top, you had every right to be angry about it too.

Their reasoning is no justifaction to treat you as if you were guilty.

Don't take it personally, I'll be honest with you if I saw someone aiming a camera at my kid, I would carefuly watch and ensure it wasnt just a fluke of the moment. They hugely over reacted and it pisses me off. Well done for getting them to say sorry.

When my mother found me one evening wearing a diaper (I got drunk and careless, kinda just lay on my bed chilling) she asked if I was a fucking pedorast! Then if someone did something. I cried, I was heart broken but it was also a sort of panicked reaction from being found out. Felt like I did something terrible, which makes me think about the whole 'keeping things secret'. I think the tears were the learned reaction of 'oh shit I said too much, now my family are gonna die'.


When my dad found my web history showing I'd been going to (I forget which site, so I'm gonna guess) Daily Diapers or something, and sat me down in his office to talk me out of my fetish (if only it were that easy) it took me a while to realize he thought I was turning into a pedophile. Once that sunk in, I was suddenly incredibly hurt and alarmed. BUT his wording was interesting. He said: "Don't go down this road... ". He said it in a way that implied "Cuz I've been down it" (meaning pedophilia). Infantilism fucking sucks for having to constantly battle that stigma. Anyway. I'm way off topic from the OP.

Screw those people for their over-reaction. I disagree with anyone calling them protective. First they carelessly let their son run around naked, in a place meant to attract photographers and floral enthusiasts, then act outraged that someone happened to inadvertantly snap a picture with their naked child in the background. Screw those idiots. They're BAD parents. They're not good parents at all. And you could have filed charges against them for the way they grabbed your camera from you. They can't legally do that. It is illegal to do what they did. Just want to make that clear. You're not a pedo. You know you're not. We all go through the unnecessary fear we'll turn out like the pricks who hurt us. Don't let those idiots exploit that fear. Real pedophiles don't fear becoming pedophiles- they only fear getting caught. Making male CSA survivors (and a surprising number of female ones too- really- I was shocked how many have admitted this to me) feel like pedophiles around children is like shooting fish in a barrel.

Top
#456893 - 12/16/13 05:28 PM Re: I was seen as a pedophile [Re: Dolphinboy]
une.vie.d.espoir Offline


Registered: 12/06/10
Posts: 106
Loc: Quebec-Canada
YOU DID NOTHING WRONG.

Try to understand. What i mean is dolphinboy you were and i am still very emotional because i was abuse by men and also by my dad. Like you whit your brother, even me after 46 years i still am sensitive and still love my dad.

I also like photographing and it does apen i will wnat to take pictures of childrnes but i ask firts the mother or the father mutch time they ask me to send them the picture. If one parents dont wnat i do not take the pictures because in a way its a vilation of privacy, not because of the fear of pepples. Yes like the mother says " there are wirdows around us.

I also want to reasure you you are not a pedophile.

Take care

Jean-Pierre

Top
Page 3 of 5 < 1 2 3 4 5 >


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.