My first post here, and as I understand things I'm supposed to say hello, a few pretty words, and then move into other forums to discuss why I am really here.

Hello.

I've just joined the group this week, so don't expect me to be of much help to most of you, except to offer support, and increase your surety and mine that we are not alone.

I've been through sexual abuse a number of times. I don't enjoy talking about it, and am here mining for techniques to handle the stress, the shame. the emotions. I'm tired of letting my attackers run my life after their deaths.

I'd like to find writers who are collecting stories; as I'd like to expose those who abused me, and those who protected them. If I were seeking personal vengeance, I would have done that quietly. I would like to live in peace, to experience harmony.

Tirador

I'd like some justice.

I'd like to move on.

There were several major events. I was abused sexually, physically and emotionally by an older female sibling from as early as I can recall until I was about 10. I was raped by a male teacher at a boarding school when I was 15, I was abducted and raped by three grown men and a younger woman when I was 17. I'm sure I have PTSD, and occasionally deep depression. I'm confident that l can get through to a better place.

Tirador

Tirador
Welcome to MS .. we are all here trying to get to a better place.
Everyone here is open, honest and sincere in assisting other brothers that have been through similar nightmares.
We are all in a healing process .. let it out when your ready and get some positive feedback.
Wishing you every success in your journey of recovery .. it takes some time but we all wish for a happy ending

Cheers

Tirador,
Welcome brother. I to am working towards that better place and i wish for you only success in your journey. Best of luck

Welcome!

I'm fairly new here too, but will try to provide insight as it comes. I also went to boarding school...though I did not have any CSA experience there like you did. I'm sorry you're dealing so much, but you are being proactive and that is a good thing. Take your time and talk as much or as little as you feel like.

I'm already more willing and able to articulate what happened---and that is a necessary step in the direction of recovery.

Will

I have noticed that the story is losing power over me the more I tell it.

The Boarding School has offered to pay for 10 sessions with a therapist. That is all they have offered, and they act as if they've offered me something startling and rare. They ignore the fact that I've been in counseling for years. And they have made obtaining those sessions a mystery and Ritual. One day they informed me that they had to speak with my therapist, so I arranged the HIPAA releases. They informed me that the counselor was no longer there in a counseling capacity (un-true). They set up these absurd blocks to my getting the sessions. I'm getting pretty angry with them.

Welcome Tirador!

I hope you find tools and support here to move forward with your recovery-there are a lot of resources on the home page of MS, as well as these forums, chat, pm, etc.

Know you are not alone and that you CAN reclaim your life and innocence, one day at a time.

Jamie