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#417996 - 12/03/12 01:28 AM Re: I was seen as a pedophile [Re: Dolphinboy]
Shyshark Offline


Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 412
Loc: Canada
Hi Dolphinboy ....

It occurs to me that we've turned your story into a little battleground ...
I sure didn't mean to do that.
I hope it won't discourage you from sharing more of your experience with us.

Sharky
_________________________
Experience is a brutal teacher.

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#417998 - 12/03/12 01:48 AM Re: I was seen as a pedophile [Re: Dolphinboy]
crazy gecko Offline


Registered: 10/04/12
Posts: 309
I think the parents were way out of line in letting their child walk around naked from the waist down, in public. WTF? Put him on display for every pedophile and sicko who happens to walk by, and then, when someone who happens to have a camera walks by, suddenly become over-protective and basically accuse him of being a pedophile?

It would have been so much easier to understand their actions if they didn't put their child on display first... mad
_________________________
I guess what I'm trying to say
Is whose life is it anyway because livin'
Living is the best revenge
You can play
-- Def Leppard

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#418008 - 12/03/12 05:32 AM Re: I was seen as a pedophile [Re: Dolphinboy]
Dolphinboy Offline


Registered: 10/30/11
Posts: 39
Thank you for sharing that story with us Shyshark, it brought a smile to my face. I recall a very similar incident that took place years ago. Today I am not sure whether it was me who did it or whether I saw a child taking a strangers hand, but I do remember the story having a happy ending. The boy got a bit of a fright when he realized his mistake and the adults all had a good laugh on his behalf, leaving him with nothing more than a slight embarrassment.
_________________________
When there are dolphins in the waves,
the sharks wont get to us.
I believed my dad that day
and became Dolphinboy,
my own protector.

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#418009 - 12/03/12 06:10 AM Re: I was seen as a pedophile [Re: Dolphinboy]
Dolphinboy Offline


Registered: 10/30/11
Posts: 39
Thank you to everyone who contributed to this forum. It was great for me to be able to talk about this incident and read your responses. It was a particularly shocking experience for me as my own brother is a convicted pedophile.
Just to clarify 2 points;
Only when the mother rushed up to me, did I notice that the son following her had no pants on. He was only wearing a short t-shirt with nothing BELOW that, totally free willy. My first reaction at seeing this was shock and I wanted to ask the woman if she realized that her son was naked, but wisely decided against this.
Secondly, after handing my camera back to me, I asked for an apolgy. She was obviously still worked up and not willing to admit her mistake. Instead she started telling me that there are a lot of sick people around. This I did not want to hear, so I said "apology accepted" and walked away from them.
_________________________
When there are dolphins in the waves,
the sharks wont get to us.
I believed my dad that day
and became Dolphinboy,
my own protector.

Top
#418041 - 12/03/12 10:59 AM Re: I was seen as a pedophile [Re: Dolphinboy]
Shyshark Offline


Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 412
Loc: Canada
Straight from the Fishy's mouth ...
a clarification .... for the Sharky

(vvvvvvvv)
_________________________
Experience is a brutal teacher.

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#418043 - 12/03/12 11:32 AM Re: I was seen as a pedophile [Re: Dolphinboy]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6371
Loc: 2.5 NATO Nations
I'm guessing they singled you out because you appeared to be without a GF or bride and they saw no kids with you. that's usually what triggers that behavior.

I too do LOTS of photography and nearly all of it has people. I hate still-life unless its pretty darn dramatic on its own. I've employed child models and adults. I get written permission and agreements prior to any shooting...but what you describe here is public-display of flowers, back-drop and people. A child's face among/within floral material is a sure-shot winner photo.

I'm guessing you were not in the USA, as kids don't normally walk around in that mode any longer...(I did as a wee-one at the ocean, but its certainly frowned upon in this era). But the parent was WAY WAY out of order with her behaviour. I may have been tempted to let her see the cameral real-real up-close....and hard.

The responsibility stands with the parents. PERIOD - No exception! The protective measures they take cannot be assaulting you and your feelings. They were SO wrong.

As a rule of thumb, I personally would never do any deliberate shooting of kids at the beach, zoo, ...anywhere without a verbal agreement from the adult at least. If there are kids present at a shoot and no parents, I don't/won't shoot them. It happens at the skateboarding and surfing events my kids are involved in. It makes things rather difficult to get a skateboard jump if there are other kids in-frame...and photoshop does not always do what you wish.

Many years ago, i carried business cards with all of my information (Identification) and contact methods (like email and phone) and would hand it to adults with or without kids. I would even feel like I had to do that with home-owners if i shot their house from the street. If hot cars are at an auto-show, or flowers at a floral show...its shutters-free! Same with any public competition unless there is a sign or announcement of no-photography.

I always offer the people involved a print, email PDF, or whatever. I just knock or approach and say "hey....I never like to shoot someone's house, flowers, garden or person without permission." No one ever said "no-shoot" with that method of introduction. They become comfortable and you nearly always learn great things about them. Sometimes you can get some really cool planned and deliberate additions to a shoot, like an old-lady on the porch of her 100-yo home.
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#418045 - 12/03/12 12:17 PM Re: I was seen as a pedophile [Re: Dolphinboy]
Dolphinboy Offline


Registered: 10/30/11
Posts: 39
Hi Still, thank you commenting on my post. I must say that I have learnt from this experience and will be more careful in future when I take photos while there are kids running around in the area. I am glad to hear that so many guys feel that it was wrong of the parents to let their children play naked in public. I want to put this incident behind me now. The parents were rude and turned my day from bright to miserable, but in the end I have forgiven them because they were defending their children and although my day was spoilt, at least the lives of the children weren't ruined. In a perfect world, I would have calmly spoken to them and asked them if they are now at ease that I am not the monster they suspected me to be. Then I would have bid them farewell and waved goodbye to the children. But I was so upset that I could hardly speak and just wanted to get away from them.
_________________________
When there are dolphins in the waves,
the sharks wont get to us.
I believed my dad that day
and became Dolphinboy,
my own protector.

Top
#418046 - 12/03/12 01:00 PM Re: I was seen as a pedophile [Re: Dolphinboy]
monkey Offline


Registered: 12/04/11
Posts: 53
Loc: IL
DolphinBoy,
I can empathize with your fear about this. I am an photography hobbyist and have found myself in this almost exact situation of being by myself and seeing the perfect picture of kids enjoying their surroundings and feel like I need to capture the art. I haven't had parents repromand me about it, thankfully. But I can understand where you are coming from and I too have had that nagging fear if others will perceive me as a perp.
You didn't do anything wrong in my eyes!
_________________________
Monkey(Mark)
The Flower Unfolding

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#418049 - 12/03/12 01:30 PM Re: I was seen as a pedophile [Re: Dolphinboy]
BuffaloCO Offline


Registered: 07/14/12
Posts: 415
Loc: USA
Let me get this right, these people choose to have their child undressed in a public place...then protest they are concerned about creeps in the world? They are whacked totally, like these two people I know from school who were deciding to breast feed a four year old, and in public yet...and who also acted like they were surprised that they got looks. What really sucks is that csa survivors are somehow thought of as automatic predators. No one says female rape victims become rapists. I'll just add it to my list of things I do not understand about life. But, you did nothing wrong at all...NOTHING.
_________________________
“We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark. The real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.” - Plato

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#418064 - 12/03/12 04:36 PM Re: I was seen as a pedophile [Re: Dolphinboy]
Shyshark Offline


Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 412
Loc: Canada
I'm sitting here with nothing more to do than watch tv ... so I'll share my experiences as an airline passenger rep with you.
This of course was 25 ... 30 years ago.

Airlines have what is known in the industry as an "UM" ... an unaccompanied minor ... kids traveling alone between the ages of 5 and 12.

Twice in those early years I had no choice but to strip a 5 year old down to his socks.
One threw up 1/2 a hamburger and spilled his glass of coke all over himself ...
The other wet himself ...
Both were stuck at the airport due to weather problems and would be with us for hours.

Without a second thought I took each of those boys into our staff bathroom (sink and toilet) and stripped them down to their socks, gave them a sponge bath as best I could, washed their little undies and the tail part of their shirts with hand soap in the sink, and sponged off as best I could their dress pants. I couldn't stand there for hours trying to dry the clothes under the air dryer so i dried them to damp, and hung them up. I put the boys in my clean and ironed 'emergency' uniform shirt from my locker, took them back to our back office where we kept them while waiting, and redressed them when their clothes were dry.
That was standard procedure ... guys cleaned up the boys and women cleaned up the girls.
What were we supposed to do? ... leave the poor kid in his own stench for 4 or 5 hours!
Staff members routinely took little ones home with them if a kid was stuck overnight ... ideally one of us who had kids too.
A little note would be sent home with the child explaining the circumstances ... and that was that!

For one of the boys a basket of fruit was delivered to me at the airport 2 days later with a card from his parents thanking me for being so kind to their son.

DO you think that is still standard procedure ????? ...

...... NO .... !!!!!

How sad.

Under similar circumstances today we would still do what we could ... but with 2 staff members present ... the kid would NEVER be naked ... and some detailed official paperwork would be filled out to send on to the parents.
If the kid was to be stuck for a long period of time (international flights) he would have been turned over to social services.

Very young children then were more innocent and trusting than now and they never thought anything of how we helped them ... and nor did their parents.
Obviously we never ran into situations like that with older kids ... but a few got into trouble but they were taken into privacy and allowed to deal with the more intimate aspects of their own care ... although on a few occasions one of us did have to do a bit of laundry.

Now I know what's going through your minds ... why didn't we retrieve their baggage and get fresh clothes for them? ... well ... my two were on day flights and didn't have a bag.
People don't seem to understand how time consuming it would be to try and find a particular bag in a fully loaded aircraft ... that means opening the cargo hold and holding up two ramp attendants for a long time.

Things were simpler then, and then as now, there are sure to be sickos among airline staff too.

The only way to keep a child 100% safe is to lock him in a cement room and never take your eyes off the door ... and even then ... the jailer has the key.

When all is said and done we were betrayed.
We just weren't lucky.
_________________________
Experience is a brutal teacher.

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