As my breakdown in October reached its peak - maybe 2 days after putting my son on the school bus for the first time - I lost all ability / interest in both sleep and food. I got no sleep at all for 4 nights then just 2 hours on the fifth, then another two nights with none before I snapped.
Among my various pills is the one to help with sleep. I hate it because I know it's potentially addictive and I just feel like an emotional cripple needing a pill to sleep every night. I'd skip the pills some nights hoping to see I was in some way at least a little more "normal," and could never sleep without them. I'd end up awake all night or needing to dose at 2:30am, which is even worse.
Last night I noticed that for the first time in well over a month I felt like what I remembered "tired" was. I tried not to focus on it and jinx it, let myself stay up a little later still tired.... then tried again...
And for the first time in well over a month I slept naturally, unmedicated, like myself for the previous 34 years.
I was never so happy to be woken by an alarm clock for work. When I realized what had happened I pounced on my wife all mushy-like and spin her around... at 7am on her way to brushing her teeth... she didn't quite get the fuss at first but when I explained she was very happy too.
"Don't think it hasn't been a little slice of heaven just because it hasn't!" --Bugs Bunny