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#417674 - 11/29/12 08:28 PM Re: Can he experience/feel love? [Re: mkn10]
mkn10 Offline


Registered: 06/30/12
Posts: 27
Thank you everyone for your very helpful posts. I suspect you are all emotional geniuses, but I guess going through tough times really does give you a whole lot of depth and understanding!

I definitely see what you all mean, and frankie you are so correct about positive emotions being dull and my survivor certainly uses alcohol as a coping mechanism!

To update on the situation:
I went another week without any contact in light his comments about this being easier. And yesterday I received a message on my phone in which he said he has been thinking about me a lot and keeps coming back to the thought that he has treated me badly. He says he is sorry and realises he really does love me and his life is "much worse" without me. And then he goes on to say, "I hope the rest of your life is everything you want it to be and more."
It's almost as though he has taken a defeated attitude. Like there is no point trying anymore.

Well I wrote him a letter in response which pretty much said I love you but if you don't begin taking steps to be proactive about recovery, I refuse to be apart of standing by and enabling you to continue in unhappiness. I told him his life is in his own hands but if he chooses to remain stuck in his abuse, he will lose my love and friendship.

I think this may have been a bit harsh. Any thoughts??

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#417698 - 11/29/12 11:59 PM Re: Can he experience/feel love? [Re: mkn10]
love Offline


Registered: 08/31/12
Posts: 37
Originally Posted By: mkn10

Well I wrote him a letter in response which pretty much said I love you but if you don't begin taking steps to be proactive about recovery, I refuse to be apart of standing by and enabling you to continue in unhappiness. I told him his life is in his own hands but if he chooses to remain stuck in his abuse, he will lose my love and friendship.

I think this may have been a bit harsh. Any thoughts??



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#417721 - 11/30/12 04:46 AM Re: Can he experience/feel love? [Re: mkn10]
whome Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/07/11
Posts: 1734
Loc: Johannesburg South Africa
Hi MKN

I think you know him better than we do and if you feel that he would respond to what you wrote then you have done the right thing. Go with your gut but bare your own feeling and needs in mind.

Setting boundaries is important. Stick to it.

Martin
_________________________
Matrix Men South Africa
Survivors Supporting Each other
Matrix Men Blog

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