Hi my Brothers,

I wanted to check in with you and let you know how I'm doing after I started testosterone treatment again. I'm on a low dose patch (2.5mg). My testosterone levels test at "slightly lower than average" for my age range. My Dr. was wonderful and allowed me to start taking the testosterone again.

2 days later I can report some major improvement in my mood.

1.I sleep much better, and I'm dreaming like crazy. I can remember my dreams.
2. I woke up with a smile on my face, the first time in months.
3. I am aware of a tension and anxiety that has been carried in my body forever that is melting away.

This is the same exact experience I had before when taking testosterone. It was kind of a happy accident that I provoked to try out testosterone, and was amazed at how much calmer, centered, and connected I felt to my body and to my experience.

I'm hopeful again, and can't wait to see my Dr and report the good news and see what else can be done (increase the dose? stay the same?).

I think a tremendous amount of research should be done on how hormones affect our moods. I think that many people have hormonal disorders which affect their moods, and the over reliance on SSRI / MAOI drugs is possibly doing more damage than good.

Just wanted to share my experience, and encourage anyone and everyone to get your testosterone levels checked. If you come out "slightly lower than normal" ask for a testosterone shot and see how you feel. Testosterone shots are super cheap and readily available.

D

I have been praying for healing and peace
over your life how ever God chooses to heal you
is his choice you still sought out the healing and you are getting healed
I am happy for you that you are not in the same state if mind
Peace and Blessings your way

My experience concurs with yours. In addition I've been taking thyroid pills every morning. Apparently my thyroid hormone levels were very low. I take testosterone by shot in the butt once per month.

My question is whether the low hormones are the cause or the effect of depression?

Puffer

Your guess is as good as mine.

But considering that we are impacted by childhood traumas and likely have PTSD, and PTSD is demonstrated to have physiological differences in our brains (specifically the hypothalamus and amygdala) - these regions are responsible for fear/anxiety fight/flight responses - and regulate our hormone production.

Mind - body connection. One affects the other.

*

Been three days since I started the patch again and I have to say that the only side effect I'm having is very bad insomnia. Which is to be expected as my body gets used to increased levels of testosterone. This happened the last time I started it.

Other than that, I'm feeling more centered, calmer, present and "in my body". I don't feel chronic tension or chronic unconscious fear anymore. I am taking more risks, being far more social, and not afraid of what other people might be thinking of me. This results in my cracking more jokes, being more spontaneous, and being more open.

I think I'm going to be staying on testosterone for the rest of my life. And of course I'll still be working with therapy and spirituality to retrain my thinking brain to see and feel the universe as a safe and warm place to exist in. The testosterone seems to be telling my body that the universe is safe, and that my body is secure.

Some physiological issues seem to also be subsiding as well. I wonder if maybe I was born with some malfunctioning testosterone/hormone production system or something.

just my rambling thoughts. I'll update as time wears on. I'm ***SO GLAD*** my Dr. prescribed the patch and that I'm back on this stuff. SO FUCKING GLAD!

D

Wow!! who would have thought a little more male hormone would make such a big difference. Congratulations Dude. I had my level checked last year and it was normal so I can't blame that for my f**ked up brain. Still I'm glad for you.

Jude

Glad you're feeling better Magellan. I hope it lasts a lifetime!

Huh, I asked my doctor about testosterone and he said "Meh, you don't need it" without checking or testing. Perhaps I should insist he have the test done.

I've been trying to think what might have caused my low testosterone and thyroid levels. I have come up with several possibilities.

I don't know which of the following is the cause, maybe all of them:

1) Severe abuse as a child caused delayed development in me. I didn't hit puberty until 14 1/2 and my tooth replacement was even upset. My cuspid teeth had not begun to erupt when I hit puberty. A dental surgeon removed the teeth.

2) When I was teaching we bought a quarter of beef from another teacher who had kind of a ranch. He was unethical and I think he was dosing his cattle with hormones. The first indicator was that my young daughter entered puberty very early. So maybe the hormones the guy was doping with interfered with our bodies. My hormone problems may have started then. And come to think of it my wife started having some severe female problems. No telling what the unethical behavior of one guy might cause.

3) Severe depression when my "memories" came up.

4) Did the memories themselves cause me to psychologically restrain my own hormone production?

5) I was a workaholic and had difficult teaching assignments. I started staying up late and not getting enough rest, and pushing my body to keep going.

Puffer

Insist!

Even if its a little lower than average, insist on a shot (a half shot or quarter shot). The shot is super cheap. If he still says no, get a second opinion.

After my experience on Testosterone and the PHENOMENAL mood changes I'm going through (good changes), I'm convinced that I had a hormonal issue driving much of my mood, which drove much of my obsessive circling thinking.

D

Hope that I'm not giving off the wrong impression here ...

I still have some issues to work through - trust, intimacy, boundaries, the whole gamut of CSA and trauma. When I met with my therapist a couple days ago, we both began to wonder together if some hormonal deficiency was complicating my efforts to recover from trauma.

Now that I've been on T, I am beginning to feel like I can trust my own instincts. I feel safe in my own body. I am sensing body language. This feels like a whole other kind of speech that I struggled to comprehend.

In the last 24 hours, I've had multiple instances where I was 'reading' without consciously 'reading' someone else. Call it intuition. Guts. Instinct. And after 'reading' other people and getting confirmation that what I read was true, I'm astonished at this new level of awareness that is coming to me. And it is all unconscious.

I suspect because the tension and anxiety in my body is dissipating that now it can do what it does on its own - read other people's body language without my having to think about it. I suspect that this is what "gut feelings" are, and "instinct" and "intuition" means. This is *really* surprising me.

So I'll be seeing my therapist twice this week to process this, and to see how to separate these issues apart from each other.

After completing 4 days of this low dose testosterone, I'm just thrilled at all the new possibilities suddenly appearing in front of my eyes.

D

Also, prolonged elevation of cortisol or adrenaline (like with PTSD, hypervigilance, etc.) can depress the thyroid and immune functions. At least that's what my doctor told me....

John

Yes, I'll be discussing this with my Dr as well. Testosterone has some inverse relationship with Cortisol.

Hopefully he ordered a thyroid test when he had my blood work done.

My Doc tested my thyroid and Testosterone (after I insisted) a few weeks ago. I haven't gone back to get the results. Does anyone know what level of Testosterone is considered low?

I need to follow this up. I am assuming mine isn't really low or they would have called me.

D - I am amazed at the transfomation this stuff has made in you.


Lee

There's an accepted "range", dependent on age.

In my years of research, I've found that someone's "low" is another person's "high" within the same age bracket. When I went to my dr about this and talked to him, I was surprised to hear him say exactly the same thing. He was very agreeable to give me the low dose testosterone, admitting that Dr's really didn't know very much about what "normal" was for any person in particular.

I was just astonished to hear such humility from a doctor, and to have him as MY doctor. I just want to hug him.

And yeah, I'm pretty astonished at the dramatic turn in my mood too. It appears all the "work" I've been doing all along has really not been for naught after all.

D

An update -

Since starting testosterone treatment almost 4 weeks ago, I'm stable. No more mood swings, no more major depression, no more unconscious anxiety/tension which drives a lot of unconscious behavior.

I'm present to what is happening in front of me and can respond accordingly.

I feel more feelings (they're surprisingly complex) and they shift all the time. I'm learning to follow my heart, and quiet my head.

I have a new mantra for daily living now:

Stay in the moment
Follow your heart
Let go of your expectations

The rest will take care of itself. That's the way life is meant to be lived.

Happy Holidays to everyone here.

D

Fantastic Dillon !!!

Have a great holiday and new year!