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#417357 - 11/27/12 07:31 AM Male victims are overlooked, and shunned!
WayTooConfused Offline


Registered: 10/28/12
Posts: 48
Loc: Florida
So True Are The Words Spoken Here Today.

Male victims are overlooked, and shunned!

Today's society is so closed minded towards rape victims to begin with and is not talked about openly.

In my opinion male on female rape is only somewhat addressed and only at the surface. We as a society will go after the male and incarcerate him for his misdeeds, and give rather little attension to the female victims. Which in and of itself is sad.

What is even more sad is that when our society is faced with "The Issue of Male on Male rape", it is so shunned that the victim is made to feel as though he was the victim and is left to suffer, and in most cases the perp is left to walk freely and society is left with this conclusion: (There was no crime here, our law enforcement opened an investigation and there must be no credible evidence, no one was brought to trial, so there was no crime here committed.)

Funny thing about this is that I seem to remember back in the 70's and early 80's that there were TV shows portraying this same sentimental value about women (male on female rape) and their rape.

I guess that it's going to take about another 30 years for society to realize that male on male rape DOES IN FACT OCCUR in our society.

ONE LAST AND FINAL NOTE HERE:
Compound the statement above with these issues happening in our military, and then ask yourselves this question; How in the hell does the female victim survive serving in our Armed Forces, let alone a male victim?
_________________________
Sick and tired of being Sick and tired.

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#417385 - 11/27/12 11:30 AM Re: Male victims are overlooked, and shunned! [Re: WayTooConfused]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1506
Loc: New England
Its a sad truth we have to carry along with the rest of our burdens. Like the "Whos" living on the speck of dust shouting: "We are HERE!"

Jude
_________________________
"I get up, and nothing gets me down.
You got it tough. I've seen the toughest around.
And I know, baby, just how you feel.
You've got to roll with the punches to get to what's real"
Van Halen

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#417389 - 11/27/12 11:52 AM Re: Male victims are overlooked, and shunned! [Re: WayTooConfused]
KMCINVA Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 1614
Awhile ago I watching an old Law and Order and the comment was made similar to what you said, male rape is where male to female rape was 20-30 years ago. Sadly, both male and female children are raped and it seems no matter the gender the child is always the victim throughout life. No form of rape or victimization should be tolerated--society needs to wake up and realize victims come in all shapes and sizes, gender, color, political persuasion, ethnic and religious background. It is sad to live it and sadder to see those who deny it or failure to admit it happens and the devastating effects it has on the victim.

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#417413 - 11/27/12 05:18 PM Re: Male victims are overlooked, and shunned! [Re: WayTooConfused]
JayBro Offline


Registered: 11/13/12
Posts: 246
Loc: Germany
I was raped several times as a teenager (in addition to the abuse I suffered earlier), and it is not addressed, I was ignored by many who I "told", and I feel so hopeless and unable to do anything about it. Friends who know about it still joke in front of me about rape. It is awful. We do indeed have a long way still to go.
_________________________
,,Nun ging es immerzu, weit, weit bis an der Welt Ende."

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#417503 - 11/28/12 08:50 AM Re: Male victims are overlooked, and shunned! [Re: WayTooConfused]
Treehugger75 Offline


Registered: 02/08/12
Posts: 158
Loc: Ontario Canada
I might use the term ignored rather than shunned but i'm 100% behind you with everything else. If we look at how poor the "first off the boat" ie women and children are treated is it any wonder why so many of us struggle and have to travel half way across a continent to recieve the therapy and treatment we need. We need to focus on the crime and its reppercussions, demographic of victim should only be used in PREVENTION.


Edited by Treehugger75 (11/28/12 08:51 AM)
_________________________
I will never ALWAYS be right, I wasn't wrong, I am whats left.

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#417725 - 11/30/12 06:34 AM Re: Male victims are overlooked, and shunned! [Re: WayTooConfused]
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 1963
Loc: durham, north england
And if male on male rape is ignored, then female on male rape is positively unknown. As I've said before I'm fairly certain this comes from the fact that society's implicit sexism and refusal to acknolidge that males can be the victims of sexist attitudes and sterriotypes just as much as females can.

I'll never forget the lecturer who, as part of a so called "introduction to s/xual ethics" in curse of my degree started the lecture with the words "it is a scientifically proven fact that %70 of men would rape a woman if they could"

She did acknolidge that in some very very rare circumstances men (because they were so evil), could actually abuse other men, but this was a very miner thing compared to what men did to women, ---- and as for women abusers? she never even mentioned the possibility.

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#417728 - 11/30/12 07:30 AM Re: Male victims are overlooked, and shunned! [Re: WayTooConfused]
WayTooConfused Offline


Registered: 10/28/12
Posts: 48
Loc: Florida
She used her emotional attitude towards men as a justification that it's OK for men to rape other men but it is extremely unfair when men rape women. Too bad she can't be fired for expressing such a contrary personal point-of-view attitude while publicly teaching others in a class room environment a cirriculum totally opposite her personal belief. Such attitudes in our society left unchecked is exactly why men who are raped can't receive JUSTICE.
_________________________
Sick and tired of being Sick and tired.

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#417736 - 11/30/12 08:42 AM Re: Male victims are overlooked, and shunned! [Re: WayTooConfused]
frankie72 Offline


Registered: 11/23/12
Posts: 32
Loc: Australia
I have to totally agree with you guys.

I actually opened up to someone when I was really down to let them understand why I was so depressed and angry. There response was "Why can't you just let it go and move on?"

Lets just say the response really didn't sit well with me.

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#417857 - 12/01/12 10:26 AM Re: Male victims are overlooked, and shunned! [Re: WayTooConfused]
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 1963
Loc: durham, north england
Well as I said in a recent thread, interestingly enough this lecturer actually died over the summer quite suddenly, ---- but I don't think too many people are sorry she's gone.

It's not however her emotions I'm concerned with, so much as the fact that she was able! to spout this sort of sexist diatribe in a so called introductory degree. imagine if someone had stood up when we were learning philosophy of mind and expressed the belief that women are less rational than men and should therefore be discouraged from doing highly logical jobs, ---- imagine how the proverbial excreta would've struck the air conditioner?

This is why i tend to think that the hole atittude towards male rape comes from sexism applied towards men, particularly from second wave feminists, ---- that is feminists of the "kill all the men" variety, (which is by no means all feminists, many are quite reasonable and do actually advocate gender equality).

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#417894 - 12/01/12 10:13 PM Re: Male victims are overlooked, and shunned! [Re: WayTooConfused]
SmartShadow Offline


Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 135
Loc: Washington State
One of the reasons I finly joined MS is that I have found no one out side of a few well trained therapists and my wife who could be supportive to me.

I believe the homosexual component in most sexual abuse of males is a big part of the overlooked and shunned dynamic. Most people in society don't have a way to sort this stuff out even if they wanted to. We have to sort it out for our survival but the tipping point for society to embrace males as victims especially sexual abuse and rape victims is a long way off I think.

Take care,
M


Edited by SmartShadow (12/05/12 02:10 PM)

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