Sometimes the stories and threads can get pretty heavy.
I came across this article, i thought it was a good thing to remind us all. We can't change what happened but we can IMPROVE how we nurture ourselves later in life. We owe it to ourselves and for those of us who are parents, we can do it for our kids.

http://www.ahaparenting.com/_blog/Parenting_Blog/post/It's_Never_Too_Late_to_Have_a_Happy_Childhood/

"It’s never too late to have a happy childhood.” -- Tom Robbins

The ability to bounce back into a state of well-being even when life throws us unexpected challenges is called stable internal happiness. Some of us are lucky enough to develop it early in life. But if (like most of us) you're still working on how to do that, consider remedial parenting.

Remedial just means "improving skills," and most of us need to improve our internal self-management skills, which is the way we "parent" ourselves. That's right, you're not only parenting your child every day -- You're parenting yourself. You carry a parent around in your head, coaching you through your day.

Unfortunately, sometimes that inner parent is more like an inner critic. If you want to show up as an inspired parent for your child, you have to transform that parent in your head, too.

And most of us need some remedial practice to learn the skills that help us maintain our equilibrium in the face of life's ups and downs. How?

1. Talk to yourself like someone you adore. Instead of berating, nurture. "You are more than enough, just the way you are...You can do it!...You Go Bro!"

2. Notice when negative thoughts hijack your mind and protect yourself by setting the story straight: "Don't worry, everything's gonna be alright....You don't have to be perfect.... Two steps forward, one step back still takes you in the right direction."

3. When negative feelings come up, hold your hand through them, like a nurturing parent. Simply breathing and accepting sadness or hurt is the best way to let those feelings go. If we can't do that, we fend them off by acting out in anger. Resist the urge to take action when you're upset. Instead, love yourself through your upset: "Breathe. It's just sadness. Go ahead and cry. Everything will look different tomorrow."

You deserve a parent who nurtures you through life. And when you show up this way for yourself, you're more able to show up this way for your child. The result? He'll carry your loving voice in his head for the rest of his life.

It's never too late to have a happy childhood.

this is good.
thanks.
Lee

Oh wow.

There is such a huge difference between how I treat my daughter and how I treat myself... I've never thought of "parenting" myself. I can sure use some of the compassion and understanding I give my daughter..

Wow. Just... Wow. I don't know what else to say...

1lifenow,

Your post reflects your screen name perfectly. I too have been making a conscious effort to love [myself] as I would love [others]. Instead of putting myself low, least, and last, I'm learning to live and like myself in each moment. The problem with putting my 'self' off until tomorrow, is that tomorrow may never come.

Thanks for this thread, I appreciate it. It's an important reminder.We may never pass this way again.

I must say this is a pretty terrific article. I can be pretty hard on myself at times and in ways I would never be on other people, especially children. This was a good reminder that I deserve affection, kindness, and love too. Moreover, I am empowered to provide some of it myself. Thank you for sharing : )