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Hi Keith, how are you doing?
I hope everything is alright?

Pero

I always find whatever you write, Keith, to be well worth reading. I couldn't find the time to read this until now and I see it is gone. I hope you post it again.

On occasion.
All emotion.
Simplification.
Irrationalization.
Resignation.
All motion.
On occasion.

You caught me, Eric, peroper, and treehugger.

I had second thoughts about the thread. No one else joined the discussion and I was concerned the thread was coming off as a narcissistic move or as an attempt at my own advice column.

I thought I'd slip away quietly but 3 of you followed the muddy footprints back to my door.

Ya know, ya just can't get away with ANYTHING 'round here!
(Eric, pero, treehugger) (Me)

Looks like I missed out on something here : P I'll catch you next time though!

Ok, ok, ok.. I give. Here's the post...but you all have to join in with other suggestions...

Original post:
Guys, for those of us who are managing (or wrestling with) food and eating issues, I thought it may be helpful for us to compile a list of helpful tools that have worked for us. I know I could sure use a list like that.

We rarely disclose this, so it's no wonder most therapists don't have adequate data and information to understand that eating disorders among men operate different from those among women. Maybe we can help them out too.

We have our reasons for having these issues and disorders, but how 'bout if we put together our own "Quick Reference Guide" for ourselves, taken from things that we have tried and tested with positive results.

For the purpose of this thread, let's keep this one "tips only," and only tips we have tried ourselves and that have worked for us. cool

Let's hear it, guys. What's worked for you?

* In the days when I spent holiday meals with my dysfunctional immediate family, my healthy eating habits became the focus of the dinner conversation with the food-pushers working on overdrive. I found that, when they couldn't take the fifth "no thank you," it was okay to politely excuse myself to eat on the porch. The food tasted just as good and I was able to eat in peace and quiet rather than ridicule.

* A food-pusher is usually someone starving for validation. That's simple; taste 1 or 2 bites and COMPLIMENT the coking, but don't over-compliment like I do ("You like it? Here, have more!" as an unwanted blob of it is plopped on your plate).

It usually works, unless the food-pusher's issue is a dominant-control issue, in which it's important to stand your ground and establish your boundaries. I learned it doesn't work to push back, but it works to dis-empower them.

* If shopping bags and Tupperware brimming with leftovers are physically thrust upon you by food-pushers as you head home, it's perfectly okay to politely thank them and secretly stop at a garbage bin down the road. Or, if the opportunity arises, you may find a homeless person on the street that is thrilled for a home cooked meal (but, be cautious and careful in this one, the "real" homeless people are not usually the visible ones begging for change).

* I eat less food when I am actively engaged in table conversation. I used to be quiet and bashful at the table, but now I ask everyone about their hobbies, their activities, how it's all going, etc. It causes me to eat slower with less quantities and to fill up faster.

* Before dinner is served, I find out what desserts will be available. I pass on EVERYTHING I can get at another time, and I select (in my mind) what I will be having and how much of it I will have (the equivalent of no more than 10 bites total dessert).
Then I plan ahead by leaving myself a little hungry at the end of the meal. Desserts are better when they're a rare treat. If I serve up my own helping of dessert, I can make it small enough to have "seconds" (another SMALL portion). My brain doesn't know the difference, and I'm secretly proud inside of my accomplishment.

* I don't eat anything just to appease "food-pushers." If I've already said, "No thank you," I don't have to give in to keep peace with anyone, even if a food-pusher plops something on my plate. I can leave it uneaten on the plate. It's okay if the food-pusher has a meltdown; it's not my responsibility.

* Instead of numbing myself with food, I choose to love myself by serving up my own plate, with SMALL portions that are chosen by nutrition rather than taste.

* At family meals or any gathering where there is a big spread of food, I NEVER eat until I'm full. This has been my most helpful tool.

* "Second helpings" are part of holiday meal traditions in my family, so I plan ahead for second helpings by making my first helpings VERY sparce, no more than 2 bites each. "More please" is enjoyable only when my stomach has ample room to accommodate it and I am IN control.

Ha ha, good to see you back Keith,
I've already thought that you have eaten some junk food and decided to erase all.
I don't have any tips, but I hope some brothers would add some

Pero

One of my food issues is eating between meals. I'm OK during the week as when I'm at work and don't snack. But come the weekend I eat when I don't have to and much more than during the week.

I find what helps is to brush my teeth after a meal. It interupts the progression of following a different food to remove the taste of the previous item.

Yea, well, all I can say is, peer pressure sure is a bitch around this place.

You're keeping me in line.

I've never heard that explanation before, that brushing interrupts the progression of food tastes. That makes sense and also explains how it's easy to get caught in a cycle of eating.

Thanks, Candu, I'm adding that to my personal arsenal.

I find that seperating dishes served at a meal to themselves controls my eating. I'm constanty told to slow down while I inhale my food. I've found in I place say, JUST cranberry sauce on my plate, I focus on enjoying each bite, then i enjoy a roll. It also reduces the discomfort from eating a really large quantity like people tend to this time of year.

don't know if this qualifies - but i would far rather eat and enjoy a small portion of something really delicious than to consume a large amount of something bland and maybe more healty. i feel less deprived and more pampered with the treats and can live with the fact that it is a smaller serving. it was sort of hinted at above - but if i see it as a conscious choice and i am the one making the decision - that also helps.

It goes this way for me. I eat food X and it left a taste in my mouth. Not bad, but good. And I could be OK for a bit but then I get up and eat some food Y in order to get the taste of food X out of my mouth. And it does the trick. But now I have to deal with the flavor of food Y. And to the rescue comes Z! And being the end of the alphabet you would think that would be the end of it. Hell no. We get to start at the begining or even (blush) have some more of X.

So I found that the sooner I brush my teeth the sooner I stop the cycle. Now it is a bit of a downer because I really liked the tast of X and it seems a shame to get rid of it after you have already taken in all the calories but if you don't want to continue then get out that tube of mint toothpaste and get at it.

So during the week at work I will have some oatmeal based porridge (with strawberry jam, no salt) at 7:30 am then brush my teeth. Then I'll have some tea at 9 am. At 11 am I'll have tea again and a bran muffin.

But on Saturday when I'm at home and have more options it goes like this. Porridge at 7:30 then I'll make some tea. With the tea I'll have some waffles (2 or 3) with syrup. Then I'll get on the couch and do some reading. And that bag of talco chips looks good. I'll eat some of that and eventually put it away in disgust (its a big bag). But I'll go and get some home madde cookies or some cake to get the taste of the talco chips out of my mouth. And by that time I need some more tea (I love coffee but the caffine becomes a problem for me, and decaf sucks). So with the second tea I might want a little something with it. But I might resist, because it's almost time for lunch!

Candu,
That's a good idea. I've known of fitness buffs, athletes, and dieters using that tool, but I never thought of it as a tool for managing food issues.
Makes perfect sense.

Traveler,
You hit it on the head, I believe. All things, especially carbs, in moderation.

Hmmm. I never really gave the topic much thought but will simply add that I have learned to listen to my cravings. Almost invariably, if I crave fruit I am getting sick, if I have a tummy ache I sometimes crave bananas. As Zen as it sounds it really is true at least for me. And I'm not very Zen. That growling little tiger under my rib cage is almost never wrong, and when I go astray it usually means I wasn't listening to it carefully.

Thanks Keith for coming back with the thread.