AngelX - "seeking help" need not be just a therapist. Finding a GOOD therapist is a dramatic challenge. So few Ts are "trauma specialists." I can't see how ANYONE can consider themselves a T and not be a trauma specialist....but whatever. If they don't have a lot of experience with male CSA, dial the next number, or click the next link.
I'd resign myself to the fact that it may take a while but it will take real investigative work to find a T that can competently handle Male CSA.
For his to see anyone (as in "anyone") who is not well experienced in Male CSA is not only a guaranteed step toward failure, but it will
(not "can") be very destructive.
During your well-networked search, I urge you to get ahold of Mike Lew's book: "Victims No Longer." This book is for him and should be in his hands tonight. Barnes carries it.
You could use some perspective as well. Our bookstore HERE
has some great ones. Some partners get inspiration just from reading the books descriptions, and obviously, the book that arrives from amazon is even better.
I would encourage you to read as much as possible here and throughout the internt until books arrive.
You've given him that ultimatum. He may not know how to seek help. I'd put more energy into helping him find the land-of-help, than establishing deadlines and directives, because each of your deadlines and directives will be missed...and then what? 8-years of your lives gone?