.. and the guy said he didn't want to talk to me because I was starting to yell.

So I hung up.

?

I think he was just trying to get you to calm down. Its difficult to try to help someone if you cannot understand them.

That may be, but certainly wasn't what I was expecting. I don't recommend a call to suicide prevention if you're frustrated or angry, or have a hearing loss which causes you to raise your voice.

I've called hotlines before. I've found that they are very receptive to listening to you. I have called angry and got the same treatment. Although they did not say they did not want to speak with me I found that I was essentially talking to myself as he did not provide any feedback. I ended hanging up. I can understand your frustration but I can understand their side. If you're yelling and screaming they really cannot provide feedback. On that note I found that suicide hotlines tend to be very curt. Its like if they get you to promise not to kill yourself they're like "ok problem solved." Just the nature of the beast I suppose.

Why were you yelling at him? I imagine you were not yelling at him but rather at the reality of your abuse or your abuser in particular, which we all understand. In any case, people generally react negatively to being yelled at if they are even able to react at all. I really can't blame you for calling the hotline and being angry, I mean how many outlets did you or do we really have? Just don't take his reaction to mean nobody cares about your situation or your fate.

Magellan,

I will have to say here that if that is the service they give, then don't ever call them! Anyone who sits at the end of a hotline like that should expect and be trained to handle all kinds of stuff! Why on earth should he tell you he can't speak to you because you are beginning to yell? So what if you are yell - it is a crisis helpline. It is not a line for nice and pretty or honkey-dorrey situation is it? If people can't do something right, they should even try. He could have placed the phone a tad farther away from his ears, where he can still hear you, but not hurt his eardrums. Be absolutely quiet until you are spent venting! That way, you have got it off your chest, he has heard everything you had to say, and he can then politely give you the guidance and reassurance you so obviously needed! He can also politely point out to you that you were shouting but that he understands that your frustrations are not directed at him, but felt to bring this to your attention for next time. It would not have killed him or cost him anything more to have done that. And that would have made a huge difference to you!

Don't take this personally, the world's mostly gone mad, but there are still a lot of good people in it!

I will look for some numbers and PM them to you - who you can call for support. You can also write to me here any time.

Don't end your life - there is more to it than you can see right now.

Hey D .,
talk to us. How are you feeling at the moment?
Please look how to calm and ground yourself. What can you do to help yourself to feel better?
You are not alone, you see how many people care for you?
Talk to us.....


Pero

Can we find a better call center for you? There can't be only one in Calif.

Even if you are out of the crisis, it won't hurt to talk to a call center that will listen, then you can get those words out of your mouth.

Also, as a guy who has checked himself in to the hosp twice for feeling "that way," I highly recommend it if only to give yourself a break and get some assisted perspective on your life at hand.

Hi, my fraternal brothers.

A few years ago I had made the most important 'phone call of my life.
A young boy's reassuring & soft voice inside of me told me big Pete, make the most important 'phone call of your life. With everything else swirling around in my head, that voice stood out. I called Suicide prevention at my Veterans Administration mental health clinic.

Like most of us that have made that 'phone call we were in living hell at the time. I was trembling uncontrollably,I was more than likely speaking in a loud voice, as most of us persons with hearing disabilities tend to ALWAYS speak loudly. I was choking up on my words, and shedding a few streaks of tears.

Fortunately for me my pickup had the OnStar feature and I had the suicide hot line card on me.
I called that number, immediately a soft spoken female came on line to listen to me, asking all sorts of questions with a soothing & reassuring voice, never interrupting me, but ever so slowly with that soft reassuring voice calming me down. When she had finally got me back down to earth she told me that just as soon as I could drive to the clinic (60) miles away safely. That someone would meet me at the door. Still in that soft, gentle, reassuring voice i got control over myself, and told her that i'm on my way.

I was met at the door, again by someone whom had a soft, reassuring & calming voice. I was taken to the chief shrink of the clinic, he talked to me & told me that for my own safety I should be locked up at the mental health ward for observation. But, it was my call volunteer or not. Well I volunteered as it sounds much better than I'm going to lock you up for your own protection.

As for your call for help. I think that that particullar individual was most unprofessional in his manner, and in my opinion he should have been reported to his supervisor. No one should ever be cut off under those circumstances NO ONE.

But, you showed great courage in seeking immediate help.

We "macho men" all too often worry about the perceived stigma of having those words entered onto our medical records mental & psychological case. Being locked up in the looney ward ( a term used in my youth),to keep himself from harming himself. Like I've trained myself as that boy "Boy's Don't Cry." "We don't show Weakness." I'm sure glad that I showed my "weakness" in caring for myself.

Don't ever hesitate when we find ourselfs overwhelmed or way too deep inside of our self to ask for help. It is definitely not a sign of "weakness." It's a sign of "COURAGE."

Babbled on too long for sure.

Wishing all my brothers here well in healing.

"I will take that lost boys hand, and I will lead him from the depths of darkness, into the sunshine, forever into eternity." As he is me.

Pete..Irishmoose.