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#416744 - 11/20/12 09:08 PM Hoping for support
nomorevic Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/19/12
Posts: 41
Loc: North Carolina
Hello,
I am new to this site and hope to gain support from others who can possibly relate to the feelings I have. I am also hopeful that I may be able to offer encouragement and comfort to others.


Edited by nomorevic (07/30/13 10:31 PM)
_________________________
NMV

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#416756 - 11/20/12 10:51 PM Re: Telling my story, hoping for support [Re: nomorevic]
Candu Offline


Registered: 06/30/12
Posts: 312
Loc: Canada
Yes there are others here that have had worse. But in no way is what you went through minor. What happen to you is inexcusable.

I'm glad that you have a good therapist to help you. I hope that your participation here will also help.

Thank you for posting your story.


Edited by Candu (11/20/12 11:15 PM)
Edit Reason: spelling

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#416765 - 11/21/12 12:34 AM Re: Telling my story, hoping for support [Re: nomorevic]
Metolius Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/09/12
Posts: 41
Loc: Oregon
Thanks for your courage in posting your story, which is a terrifying ordeal. Don't underestimate either the level of trauma you experienced, or your courage. I especially applaud everything you have done to protect your kids. God bless you for being so clear and strong on their behalf.

I hope you find a sense of community both online and with any other opportunity you might have to gather with other survivors. There is real strength in knowing we are not alone, either in our PTSD or on the path of recovery.

Welcome!

Jim

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#416784 - 11/21/12 04:16 AM Re: Telling my story, hoping for support [Re: nomorevic]
derrick Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/30/10
Posts: 94
Loc: North Carolina
Thanks for telling your story

Derrik here in Asheville

Hang in there
_________________________
My Story http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthr...5766#Post335766

Alumnai of May 2011 DAHLONEGA (a life changeing event)
Alumnai of October 2010 WOR Hope Springs
Dahlonega

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#416794 - 11/21/12 08:07 AM Re: Telling my story, hoping for support [Re: nomorevic]
ALovingMum Offline


Registered: 02/24/12
Posts: 46
Loc: England
NoMoreVic,

You are simply a hero, and one to look up to! You have taken the right steps every step of the way! God bless you!

My only advice to you is never ever to underestimate what you went through! The trauma children experience as a result of unwanted sexual experience is very difficult to gauge viz-a-viz the perceived degree or nature of the experience even though it is generally agreed that contact sexual abuse is always more damaging than non-contact abuse. So do not think anyone on here will think what you went through pales into insignificance in the total scale or the various types of sexual abuse some vile adults subject children to. CSA trauma is trauma. Remember, he (your father) and your cousin should have known better. You were only a child.

I am very proud of you! And I know what it is like not to have a family. I finally discarded mine some months ago, when after 38 years, I realised that there was just no one way these people will ever be humane towards me or my children. You are better off without their poison, my darling.

Rock on, be the best husband and father you can ever be. Your wife and children are your family! And of course you have us all here - your brothers and sisters!
_________________________
Daily I worry for the safety of my young sons - but worry achieves nothing! So I pray for their safety!

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#416810 - 11/21/12 10:10 AM Re: Telling my story, hoping for support [Re: nomorevic]
Anomalous Offline
Greeter Coordinator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 03/07/10
Posts: 1355
Hi NoMoreVic,

Welcome to MS.

I am glad you have found this place of healing and support.

It is good that you have set very strict boundaries with your father. You know all too well the harm he causes and that he only cares about his needs and not the effects he has on others. I am sorry that you lost members of your extended family to whom you were very close. Sadly, they are not able to admit to themselves that you are telling the truth. However despicable, it is easier for them to make you out to be the bad guy than to admit the horrendous things your father has done.

Please do not do yourself the disservice of comparing your story to someone else's. The details may differ from story to story, but it is all bad. NO ONE should ever have experienced these abuses.

Take your time and look around. You do not want to trigger yourself by reading too many posts at one time.

At your own pace, read the boards and wander into chat. The lounge (chat) is open 24 hours a day though it isn't always populated.

We also have moderated chats called Healing Circles. They meet on Sunday and Wednesday evenings at 9pm eastern time and one on Tuesday at 19:00 UTC (European and African time zone) which translates to 2 PM Eastern US time zone. The Healing Circle on Tuesdays is scheduled to resume in January.

Again, welcome to MS.




Anomalous
_________________________
Acceptance on someone else's terms is worse than rejection.

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#416851 - 11/21/12 07:23 PM Re: Telling my story, hoping for support [Re: nomorevic]
finallyopen Offline


Registered: 11/16/12
Posts: 69
Loc: Ontario, Canada
No one story "pales" in comparision to anyone else's .. we have ALL been victims and our stories relate .. that's why you get the understanding from people here .. other people who have not been victimized cannot really understand (especially as men) how difficult these memories are to heal or erase.

Welcome to MS
_________________________
My Story : http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthr...4645#Post434645

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#416906 - 11/22/12 03:20 AM Re: Telling my story, hoping for support [Re: nomorevic]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1600
Loc: New England
NoMoreVic,

Welcome. Sorry you have to be here but glad you found us. It took courage to share your story. Keep pressing on for healing. You will find it.

Jude
_________________________
Seems I've got to have a change of scene
Every night I have the strangest dreams
Imprisoned by the way it could have been
Left here on my own or so it seems
I've got to leave before I start to scream
Joe Cocker

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#417240 - 11/25/12 07:01 PM Re: Telling my story, hoping for support [Re: nomorevic]
nomorevic Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/19/12
Posts: 41
Loc: North Carolina
Thank you so much to all of you!
I think just hearing that I am not the one in the wrong and have every right to protect myself and my children makes me feel a lot stronger. Thank you to all who took the time to respond!!
Sincerely,
_________________________
NMV

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#417246 - 11/25/12 08:07 PM Re: Telling my story, hoping for support [Re: nomorevic]
petercorbett Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/27/08
Posts: 2453
Loc: TEXAS
Hi, my fraternal brother, nomorevic.

Welcome to MS. here you will receive compassion, understanding & hope, from your brothers (fraternal) & friends (in pain).

We all have been there. We have been into the depths of our soul & hell too.

We will hear your cries. We will help in your fears & share in your tears.

You already are on board that emotional roller coaster ride of your life.

We have a lot to offer here in MS. Sunday evenings we have a moderated & in a safe room healing circle. Starts at 9pm Eastern. Also one on Wednesday evenings, same place & time. Just be here in chat about 10 minutes and wait for the moderator to ask anyone here for the HC. That is your invitation to attend. You can just sit back & see what's going on or you can actively participate, whenever you feel comfortable.

I am also a victim of incest, from my "mom." In a way i am fortunate as all my abusers are dead. I am 73 years old & have been in recovery for a shade over 4 years.

There are numerous guide books out there, you already have a therapist.

Plus you have your brothers here to help you & each other along on this trek to becoming a survivor.

So, my fraternal brother, nomorevic, wishing you well in healing, you are on your way here.

"I will take that lost boys hand, and I will lead him from the depths of darkness, into the sunshine, forever into eternity." As he is me.

Pete..Irishmoose.
_________________________
Working Boys' Home 10-14 yrs old, grades 5-8. 1949-1953
____________________________________________________________
A very humble alumni of the WOR Dahlonega, GA.
May 15-17 2009, Alta, Sep. 2009. Sequoia, 2010.
Hope Springs, 2010.


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