I truly believe my history of childhood sexual abuse affected my sexuality. I am a male who is attracted to females, but I am also attracted to females who look just like females but aren't really females-- transexuals, trannies, ladyboys, BUT they have to have a convincing look like a female, and I am not bothered by the fact that they have a penis, as long as they have breasts, attractive female facial features, the penis on them and the fact it's like a real girl turns me on. I've seen a couple on porn sites and youtube, and I fantasize doing sexual acts with them whether it's me performing oral, or they on me, or anal-- but me doing them, while they masturbate and ejaculate. I can't be considered gay since I like females, so it must be bisexual but I'm not attracted to guys.

How do you know that your abuse caused your attraction to chicks with dicks? Maybe you would have had this attraction even without the CSA.

I think you have to be careful to not always associate everything to CSA even though it simplifies things. While I certainly have issues due to my CSA I'm sure that some are also a result of my father and his problems and our family's disfunction.

Hey and some of those trannies put a lot of work into their appearance. My mother went to her neice's wedding and reported back (different part of the country) that a cousin of mine (not the one getting maried) looked absolutely stunning as a she. And he/she needs lovin' too. (he/she is mated with an older woman now)

Pre-op transexuals are the best of both worlds if you don't like to think of yourself as being gay. The only problem is the hormones they take to look female will eventually cause the penis to stop working (arousal and orgasm). There are quite a few ladyboys that stay pre-op till their cocks stop working. Maybe you just like them and it has nothing at all to do with CSA? Whatever makes you happy is where you should go.

I actually watched a Human Sexuality Lecture online from a very prestigious university in which this is discussed directly.

Turns out that this is the fastest growing area in the adult industry. Research was pulled together in a study on what people search for, their orientation, sex (M/F) they did eye tracking (people looking at images and the computer registering what they looked at and how long).

Men are by nature visual creatures. The top five list of anatomical parts that hold the most interest for men (measured by the number of times and the length of time looking at each and this subconscious computer measured eye movement) is;

1) Breasts
2) Male Genitals
3) Buttocks (gender neutral just as much male as female)
4) Female Genitals
5) Feet

Turns out that this is 100% completely normal male human visual responsiveness regardless of orientation. You are not alone but, the willingness to discuss it shows that you are more in touch with yourself than most men.

Following directly on that post, here is a collection of articles all confirming that, yes Virginia, men are fixated on penises and look at them much more than most would be comfortable admitting. Not just in porn - in pictures of clothed people too. And not even just humans but when guys are shown pictures of animals too.

http://feck-blog.blogspot.com/2011/06/eye-tracking-devicesman-we-are-strange.html?m=1

There are a lot of quirky features of your donger that have nothing to do with sex with women. Only 4 inches are required to fill what the average woman has and deposit the sperm as far up as they can go - but average male size is larger than that and some are much larger. No other primate has the complex inner hydraulics in there to achieve widening during arousal, and certainly no other has them flush a more intense color during arousal (though many have bright colors there at all times). Some part of what goes on down there was adapted as a visual display, aimed not at females but other males. And the guys - they still look.

SCIENCE!

So it is ok to label me as a "pecker checker"?(aptly described to me by my homophobic brother-in-law). I have always hated the fact that I was drawn to visualize the male genitals or have a fascination by them. And then attributing that to meaning I want the gay lifestyle. It isn't for me. Not that I haven't fantasized sexual situations with men. I am equally attracted to females and actually get more sexual stimulation when a women touches me. Maybe it is a fact that sex with a man is so far from reach in my accounts that it may be an alure/curiousity and fixation. I don't. I am just babbling now.