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#416492 - 11/17/12 08:56 AM Starting the Journey
finallyopen Offline

Registered: 11/16/12
Posts: 69
Loc: Ontario, Canada
Hi Everyone

It has taken me a long time to finally realize that issues from the past continue to be a force to recon with.
Recently I have started looking out for myself and have visited a few websites which in turn lead me to a survivor himself & Therapist. In turn he directed me to this site and I'm hoping to open up and bring some walls down that I have had up for 40 years.
From the age of 8-13 I was sexually abused by neighbourhood "friends" and raped by my ex brother-in-law when I was 16. It was a very confusing time and for all of these years I have attempted to handle it myself by internalizing and justifying in my own mind .. never really knowing which side of the fence I should be landed on.
I really hope to meet and get to know a few people on this site who I can openly talk to about my issues .. and realize that I am not alone anymore.
My Story :

#416493 - 11/17/12 08:56 AM Re: Starting the Journey [Re: finallyopen]
finallyopen Offline

Registered: 11/16/12
Posts: 69
Loc: Ontario, Canada
My Story :

#416509 - 11/17/12 06:58 PM Re: Starting the Journey [Re: finallyopen]
SamV Offline

Registered: 12/13/09
Posts: 5954
Loc: Talladega, Alabama, USA
Welcome Doug,

It is good that you have found our support site Doug. It shows incredible strength on your part to begin this journey and reach out for fellow survivors on your journey, well done fellow survivor.

Post, reply, chat and Healing Circles here for your recovery journey, and us, 10,500 of your fellow survivors.

MaleSurvivor Moderator Emeritus 2012 - 2014

#416515 - 11/17/12 08:05 PM Re: Starting the Journey [Re: finallyopen]
Jude Offline

Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1633
Loc: New England
Welcome Doug,

Congratulations on taking the steps you have undertaken. It takes a great deal of courage to do what your doing. We all are on the same bus stops till we get to the other side. Don't worry you already paid for your ticket. Do the work of recovery and you'll be a better man in the long run.

I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
Sarah McLachlan

#416653 - 11/19/12 08:16 PM Re: Starting the Journey [Re: finallyopen]
Candu Offline

Registered: 06/30/12
Posts: 312
Loc: Canada
Hi Doug. I'm new here to, about 40 year later as well. (I don't remember when it started or stopped)

#416801 - 11/21/12 09:22 AM Re: Starting the Journey [Re: finallyopen]
Anomalous Offline
Greeter Coordinator
Registered: 03/07/10
Posts: 1622
Hi Doug,

Welcome to MS.

I am glad you have found this place of healing and support.

The abuses you have endured make things very confusing. You were betrayed by those so-called "friends." You were also betrayed by someone who was once part of your family, which classifies his actions as a form of incest. Then, being 16 during some of the abuse, leaves you with feelings that are similar to adult survivors of sexual abuse/ assault, even though you were legally and technically a child.

Confusion is more than an accurate description.

But, as Sam pointed out, there are well over 10,000 guys here who understand that confusion and will help you work through it, too.

You are definitely no longer alone.

There are several books you might find useful.

Abused Boys: The Neglected Victims of Sexual Abuse by Mic Hunter

Victims No Longer by Mike Lew

I am certain others will share titles they have found useful. You can find these titles, and others here at the bookstore.

Take your time and look around. You do not want to trigger yourself by reading too many posts at one time.

At your own pace, read the boards and wander into chat. The lounge (chat) is open 24 hours a day though it isn't always populated.

We also have moderated chats called Healing Circles. They meet on Sunday and Wednesday evenings at 9pm eastern time and one on Tuesday at 19:00 UTC (European and African time zone) which translates to 2 PM Eastern US time zone. The Healing Circle on Tuesdays is scheduled to resume in January.

Again, welcome to MS.

Acceptance on someone else's terms is worse than rejection.

#416937 - 11/22/12 11:03 AM Re: Starting the Journey [Re: Candu]
finallyopen Offline

Registered: 11/16/12
Posts: 69
Loc: Ontario, Canada
Thanks Candu -- everyones input and thoughts are appreciated now that I've opened up.
My Story :

#416974 - 11/22/12 11:31 PM Re: Starting the Journey [Re: finallyopen]
Randy65 Offline

Registered: 04/14/12
Posts: 109
Loc: Alabama
Hi Doug,
So proud that you found us. MS is a great support system that has changed my life. You are amongst friends and brothers. We will be here for you. Over 40 years hear too.
Stay strong,
My Story of CSA

My Story of CSA: The Day God Entered My Heart

My Story of CSA: "Flashbacks" (Trigger Caution)

#417022 - 11/23/12 03:21 PM Re: Starting the Journey [Re: Randy65]
genedebs Offline

Registered: 11/09/12
Posts: 303
Loc: MO
started to listen to your video. You know, the one about flashbacks. First I want to thank you. However, I could not listen to the whole of it. I will try to list to more, but I have to take it in small doses so I do not trigger and have to fight going into black hole depression.


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