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#416468 - 11/17/12 12:42 AM Re: 10 Things I LIKE about YOU [Re: Farmer Boy]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3603
Loc: South-East Europe
I hate ends wink
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My story

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#416469 - 11/17/12 12:43 AM Re: 10 Things I LIKE about YOU [Re: peroperic2009]
Farmer Boy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/23/12
Posts: 442
Loc: Australia
Lol!! laugh


Edited by Farmer Boy (11/17/12 12:44 AM)
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More than meets the eye!

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#416474 - 11/17/12 02:42 AM Re: 10 Things I LIKE about YOU [Re: Farmer Boy]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3357
Loc: somewhere in Africa
Lee -

My favorite is:

Originally Posted By: Farmer Boy

140. I hate that I wasn't clever enough to write this in iambic pentameter and post it in the poetry section.


- because it shows you still have a sense of humour.
and that shows that there is still hope.

this whole thread made me cry uncontrollably - and laugh as well.
and also had me nodding understandingly far too many times.
i cried for you,
i cried for me,
i cried for every other person who reads this list and can agree with even part of it.

i hated to read it
but i'm glad you wrote it.

and don't worry about not being able to do iambic pentameter.
it's out of style now anyway.
this is the age of free verse.
and this vent/rant/catalogue of woes definitely qualifies for that.

Lee
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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#416475 - 11/17/12 02:48 AM Re: 10 Things I LIKE about YOU [Re: Farmer Boy]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1509
Loc: New England

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#416478 - 11/17/12 03:10 AM Re: 10 Things I LIKE about YOU [Re: Jude]
Farmer Boy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/23/12
Posts: 442
Loc: Australia
Thanks Jude

That made me smile too. laugh
I might start tothing about what I like about me now....

Thanks Traveler Lee
You always know the right thing to say. I'm sorry it made you cry. I'm sorry that I'm not the only one that feels like this sometimes.

One more...
I hate CSA and what it does to innocent kids like us!
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#416485 - 11/17/12 06:04 AM Re: 10 Things I hate about Me ++++TRIGGER WARNING++++ [Re: Farmer Boy]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3603
Loc: South-East Europe
Hey,
I hate false promises - Lee you said already that is end (which I hated even more) grin

PS. It seems like there are many hates because of erection in wrong time and at wrong place - those are classical problems of every man - I hate that fact too smile
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#416486 - 11/17/12 06:30 AM Re: 10 Things I hate about Me ++++TRIGGER WARNING++++ [Re: Farmer Boy]
ig3 Offline


Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 54
The four immeasurables are found in one brief and beautiful prayer:

May all sentient beings have happiness and its causes,
May all sentient beings be free of suffering and its causes,
May all sentient beings never be separated from bliss without suffering,
May all sentient beings be in equanimity, free of bias, attachment and anger.

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#416490 - 11/17/12 08:47 AM Re: 10 Things I hate about Me ++++TRIGGER WARNING++++ [Re: Farmer Boy]
crazy gecko Offline


Registered: 10/04/12
Posts: 309
Ok, you have me in tears now.

I like that you had the courage to write all if that, even though I hate that you can.

I hate that I can't say something beautiful and poetic or even just funny, that would make you feel better...
_________________________
I guess what I'm trying to say
Is whose life is it anyway because livin'
Living is the best revenge
You can play
-- Def Leppard

My Story, Part 2

My blog

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#416514 - 11/17/12 07:57 PM Re: 10 Things I LIKE about YOU [Re: Farmer Boy]
Letourski Offline


Registered: 03/15/08
Posts: 302
Loc: Canada
I nodded to over half of this list. Takes honesty and courage to write it all out the way you did. Thank you for sharing.


Edited by Letourski (11/17/12 07:59 PM)
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#416529 - 11/18/12 03:03 AM Re: 10 Things I LIKE about YOU [Re: Farmer Boy]
Farmer Boy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/23/12
Posts: 442
Loc: Australia
146. I hate that no matter how many times I brush my teeth my mouth still feels dirty
147. I hate that no matter now long I shower for or how hard I scrub I still feel dirty
148. I hate that I'm adding more to the list and hope noone will notice
149. I hate that I hate that I think I'm gay sometimes
150. I hate that I lie so much I even believe my own lies
151. I hate that I'm just like my dad that way
152. I hate that most of the time I can't cry
153. I hate when I do cry
154. I hate that I let them affect me this way
155. I hate that I had sex with a man as a grown up and that just made me more confused
156. I hate that I kept having sex with men to try to work it out
157. I hate that I've pretended to be what other people wanted me to be my whole life and now I don't know who I am.
158. I hate that I have crushes on my male friends
159. I hate that I tried so hard to please my oldest brother at 4-6
160. I hate that I tried so hard to do it 'right' (even practiced not gagging on bananas)
161. I hate that I knew what semen tasted like, looked like, smelt like at 4-6
162. I hate that I grew to like it..even crave it
163. I hate that I have always cared more about giving the other person pleasure - like I don't deserve it
164. I hate that I beleived my dad when he called me a poof
165. I hate that I told him I forgave him when he called me when I was 23 to say sorry - just to make him feel better and I knew that was what I was supposed to say.
166. I hate that I wasn't ready to deal with it then
167. I hate that typing all this is making me want to act out again (I know I won't - I am better than that now!)
168. I hate that I can't swallow pills without pushing them to the back of my throat and that somehow this feels connected to the abuse.
169. I hate that I hate myself so much!!!!
170. I hate that I lied when I promised not to write anymore.

Thanks everyone for supporting me with this rant...I'm finding it very therapeutic.

Although it is also making me feel very vulnerable and exposed and selfish.
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