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#416403 - 11/16/12 01:46 AM More Pain
whome Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/07/11
Posts: 1734
Loc: Johannesburg South Africa
Yesterday I went somewhere and spoke to a young man who seemed distressed. I Don't know him well but we speak occasionally, I have never told him of after my past or what I do.
He seemed distracted and eventually told me that his nephew had been committed to an institution, I casually asked why? and he told me that there was a man that had raped him. The young man is in his early teens and it is one hell of a dilemma for me because MM only deals with men from 18.
How can I turn my back on a young life that is in distress. How can I be so callous as to just say and do nothing.
I offered to talk to him and tell him my story, I mean I cant just leave the poor lad alone so I offered.

What can I tell this lad, Im sure that just telling him my story will already help him a lot.
Being a teenager was for me a long time ago, and it is a period of my life that I would rather forget, so if you all can offer some advice I would be happy.

Heal well all
Martin
_________________________
Matrix Men South Africa
Survivors Supporting Each other
Matrix Men Blog

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#416404 - 11/16/12 01:49 AM Re: More Pain [Re: whome]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3377
Loc: somewhere in Africa
what you say won't fix it.
but being there will mean a lot.
just to know you are not the only one...
not to feel so alone...

lee
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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#416409 - 11/16/12 02:06 AM Re: More Pain [Re: whome]
crazy gecko Offline


Registered: 10/04/12
Posts: 309
I'm with traveler. I don't think there is anything you can say that could mean more than simply "I know".

I think just knowing someone understands means more than anything else in the world, especially when the wounds are as raw as his must be right now.
_________________________
I guess what I'm trying to say
Is whose life is it anyway because livin'
Living is the best revenge
You can play
-- Def Leppard

My Story, Part 2

My blog

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#416418 - 11/16/12 03:39 AM Re: More Pain [Re: whome]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1513
Loc: New England
Originally Posted By: whome
What can I tell this lad, Im sure that just telling him my story will already help him a lot.


Martin,

Just hearing that you are a man who has been in his shoes will be huge for him. Occasionally I have the opportunity to chat or PM with one of the younger men on MS and I always try to encourage them that it is very brave of them to face what happened to them at such a young age. I tell them what my life has been like, running from it, and that they have the opportunity to change the course of their lives if they continue to do the work of recovery and not give up. Go ahead and talk to him. You will not regret it.
_________________________
I went back to the doctor
To get another shrink.
I sit and tell him about my weekend,
But he never betrays what he thinks.
Can you see the real me, doctor?.
The Who

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#416427 - 11/16/12 09:26 AM Re: More Pain [Re: whome]
whome Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/07/11
Posts: 1734
Loc: Johannesburg South Africa
Thanks Guys.
This whole thing (MatrixMen) starting, and all, is very difficult.
I found it so easy to dispense advice and council over the net here at MS, but sitting with a person face to face is tough.
The rules of engagment are, Dont give advice. I can tell my story, but other than that I need the guy to answer his own questions.

Tough one.
I also was amazed at how this guy just told me about his nephew, I mean we hardly talk and then not about anything personal, its mainly about business.
God moves in Mysterious ways, thank heavens.

Thanks Guys.
Martin
_________________________
Matrix Men South Africa
Survivors Supporting Each other
Matrix Men Blog

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#416428 - 11/16/12 09:29 AM Re: More Pain [Re: whome]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3603
Loc: South-East Europe
Hey Martin,
please never turn your back when you can offer some compassion and couple of supportive words.
We all were young boys some time ago. I wonder what we needed than?
If I could go back in time I would like to hear about some place where I could read some survivor's stories, place where I could find that I wasn't alone, place that will open gate of world for me and give me some hope.
I know for such place in SA - it is Matrix Men.
Let him know about it, let him know that there is hope for his nephew and there are people who went trough similar hell...

Pero
_________________________
My story

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