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#416086 - 11/13/12 12:48 AM Therapy??
onlyakid Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/31/04
Posts: 1552
Loc: New Jersey
I've been to 6 different therapists over the past 8+ years. Only one of them addressed making goals and figuring out ways to accomplish them. Unfortunately he was too far away and we couldn't make our schedules work. Why didn't the other 5 do this with me? Am I wrong to believe that while a therapist can't do the work for me, they should atleast work with me to set up a plan to address my issues and help to me to work thru the issues that arise? Why did 5 out of the 6 not do this?? Am I a bad t magnet??


Jason

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#416088 - 11/13/12 12:58 AM Re: Therapy?? [Re: onlyakid]
phoenix321 Offline


Registered: 09/26/11
Posts: 912
Loc: USA, FL
Originally Posted By: onlyakid
I've been to 6 different therapists over the past 8+ years. Only one of them addressed making goals and figuring out ways to accomplish them. Unfortunately he was too far away and we couldn't make our schedules work. Why didn't the other 5 do this with me? Am I wrong to believe that while a therapist can't do the work for me, they should atleast work with me to set up a plan to address my issues and help to me to work thru the issues that arise? Why did 5 out of the 6 not do this?? Am I a bad t magnet??


Jason


I had 12 that had no plans for me either. The ones I asked put it off and off till I quit them. Two had no interest in doing it, but getting me to sleep with them. One T told me I was a total lost cause. I know what you are going through. frown
_________________________
Phoenix

A guy opens the front door and sees a snail on his doorstep. He picks up the snail and throws it across the street in a neighbor's yard. A year later, the guy opens the front door and the same snail is on his doorstep. The snail says, "What the f*ck was that about?"

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#416091 - 11/13/12 01:05 AM Re: Therapy?? [Re: onlyakid]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3401
Loc: somewhere in Africa
i guess i've been lucky - only had 2 Ts and both were good - helped me set goals and suggested steps to reach them. but not right away - it took at least 6 months to work past all the past junk to get to a point where i could start to look ahead.

lee
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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#416092 - 11/13/12 01:16 AM Re: Therapy?? [Re: onlyakid]
crazy gecko Offline


Registered: 10/04/12
Posts: 309
Finding a good T is a mission.

I had several who was totally incapable of understanding the effect the abuse had on me, let alone still helping me understand it.

I had several who point-blank refused to treat me because I my file said "possible Borderline Personality".

Most only seemed interested in prescribing as many meds as possible.

Like you experienced - only one helped me set goals and held me to them.

I consider myself as very fortunate to have found my current T. She gets me, and she has my back.

But I know how you feel. I've been there. It sucks. frown
_________________________
I guess what I'm trying to say
Is whose life is it anyway because livin'
Living is the best revenge
You can play
-- Def Leppard

My Story, Part 2

My blog

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#416230 - 11/14/12 03:51 AM Re: Therapy?? [Re: onlyakid]
Publius Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/13/12
Posts: 396
Loc: OH
Therapy as a profession like any other, some are naturally gifted or work hard to be good while other people go into it with good intentions but aren't very good at it. Additionally, there are people who in it for the wrong reasons ($$$, prestige, sort out their own problems, etc.). As many others on this site will attest the bad ones are not only hard to spot sometimes but counter-productive at first but there are wonderful guidelines available online (on this site specifically I believe) for how to go about finding a good one and being able to spot a bad one.

There is nothing I can see in your expectations that would lead me to believe them to be unreasonable. There are a number of reasons why 5 out of 6 could not do this but they are none of your concern as they likely have nothing to do with you. The good thing is you have found a therapist who worked with you before so you know it can happen. Keep researching, send emails, make phone calls, ask questions, and do whatever else is necessary to find someone who will work with you.
_________________________
"Life is like this dark tunnel. You may not always see the light at the end of the tunnel, but if you keep moving, you will come to a better place." ~ General Iroh

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#416252 - 11/14/12 09:03 AM Re: Therapy?? [Re: onlyakid]
KMCINVA Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 1653
the key is to find the right therapist or psychiatrist. Like Publius stated, it is a job to some and some have inflated egos and believe they understand every type of abuse, mental conflict, illness--when in reality they should stick to what they are good at. CSA is complicated and few understand or have the capacity to understand how a child's mind works and the long term effects of CSA including PTSD. Assessing and asking questions is key to finding someone that can help. I have heard stories of therapists and doctors saying the effects of CSA are contrived and not real. I bet if you look at their background, they have not worked with or studied in depth CSA--but because of their credentials and probably trying to fill billable hours hold themselves as one. Sadly, be it CSA, other forms of PTSD, mental illnesses, the one who suffers is the victim, who is not given a chance to heal because of poor counsel.

I have been fortunate, my T has been able to help me, open up and helping to reconnect myself. I never realized how disconnected I was, which caused so many issues from loneliness, to lost time to feeling inadequate and self loathing. On another thread, someone posted loneliness is about being disconnected and not how many people you have around you.

So talk to the therapist or psychiatrist upfront, find out their therapy, experience--see how open they are in sharing this information with you. Also, see how they listen to you--do the past judgment or give a matter of fact answer--probably not someone who is open to understanding you.

Keep going, you will find the right person.

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#416312 - 11/15/12 08:09 AM Re: Therapy?? [Re: onlyakid]
firebird Offline


Registered: 03/29/12
Posts: 26
Loc: the western hemisphere
life coaches can be of great help also
holistic are the best type
they wont help you heal or sort our your issues
but they will show you how to cope with daily life to the point that the other stuff flows more easily
_________________________
'The flower you love is not in danger...I'll draw you a muzzle for your sheep...I'll draw you a fence for your flower...I' I didn't know what to say. How clumsy I felt! I didn't know how to reach him, where to find him...It's so mysterious, the land of tears.


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