and I'm announcing it to all my circles so that I Follow Through.
It's been suggested to me MANY times over the years that I consider doing this, and I always shied away from doing it because of fear and my CSA issues.
But I did have a few years of experience working with 'at risk' teens in an after school program. It was one of the most challenging and rewarding things I'd ever done, and I was astonished at how easy it was for me to build a rapport with them. Some of those kids fell in love with me, and idolized me. A few of them have friended me on Facebook, to my surprise.
With all the work I've been doing to love myself, I've been VERY frustrated that I could never feel the love I have been demonstrating to myself with all my efforts. I still feel empty and lacking and totally disconnected.
Jude has kicked me in the butt with another reminder - and I'm taking his suggestion. I'm starting the application process and will follow through and start volunteering and working with kids. They deserve it, and *I* deserve it. I felt connected and valued when I worked with kids before, and I will do it again for my own sake.
Wish me luck - the application process is apparently hard and time consuming, and they need latino volunteers, not white people like me. So I may ultimately be rejected because there is no need for me. But if my HP is working in my life, my HP will make the opportunity happen.
HP? You listening?
If I'm acting despondent, Please ask me if I'm eating sugar. I keep forgetting sugar makes me crazy.