so i finally for the first time ever i have a full time job thats lasted over three months (im 24)
and i feel like one of my co workers a woman the age of my mother is hitting on me and im replused by her (even though i do find older women to be hot )
its somthing to do with the context of coworkers
working with her feels abusive
as if i do what she asks me to do like stacking shelfs is some how wrong
i know she only means well but i feel like quitting my job
why am i behaving like this
any ideas or advise
love and light

If you are at the point of quiting your job then you might just try and explain to her that you feel realy uncomfortable with her interest. Explain that this job means a lot to you at this time and that you can't go on with it with the kind of attention you have been getting.

But this advice is just based on your short description above. I'm not in your shoes. You obviously have to deal with this somehow. But ideally you need to change the intent of her attention on you. But you don't want it to turn into animosity either.

*

thanks for the support
writing a post about it attually really helped in its self
im annoyed with my self
as im most likely both the cause of this entire thing
a normal man would not mind a co-worker being flirtatous
infact welcome it
im fragile due to my inner work and not due to the situation but its still feels very real to me and my inner child
and we shall endevour to solve it together

I like your outlook. It's alright to have boundaries. We had our boundaries shattered, and it certainly takes time to learn them. I happen to think that you are strong for doing inner work, the kind of work that a "normal" male doesn't have to do. Normal is such a relative word, we hear it all the time, but really it doesn't mean anything. You are normal for having been sexually abused. I think it's a positive step in the right direction to have discovered how your co-worker's behavior affects you. With this knowledge you can reflect on a constructive response and assert your boundaries confidently. Heal well brother.

Daniel,

Your reactions to her are most likely because of stuff you went through as a child. You may not even remember what that stuff was. When you can remember the stuff and start understanding its effects on you, you will start to understand why you reacted as you did. For that reason it's important to decode our childhood.

Puffer