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#415607 - 11/07/12 03:30 PM Woman Problems
COSC Offline


Registered: 08/13/12
Posts: 63
Loc: UK
Anyone experience a freezing up around woman they find attractive and would like to approach?

For me, it just feels like danger ahead. almost like its wrong, no, that's not the right word.. more like bad/unacceptable/shameful for me to want intimacy, and a fear/shame of others knowing what I am up to. I still seem to have the need to keep this stuff secret even thought I know attraction/intimacy etc. is perfectly normal.

I just can't seem to feel even remotely comfortable around woman never mind get/have a girlfriend (think thats the worst part of it, wanting and being unable to get), Makes me feel inadequate as a man.
_________________________
The virtue of mental anguish... is the provision of strength and resilience each time clarity's reclaimed. For my success, I owe it all,
to that which stands in my way.

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#415614 - 11/07/12 05:03 PM Re: Woman Problems [Re: COSC]
antonimm1979 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/26/12
Posts: 12
Loc: Spain
Unknown1, that is really a common problem, not only in survivors but on many other man. As I have told in this forum, I am a survivor too, survivor of mother son incest. And also a psychotherapist, and also... a seduction coach.

One of my jobs is being in a team, we trach social skills, how to develop charisma, we make bootcamps in order to teach guys (and also girls) how to seduce and pick up. I have had to learn those skills and believe, everybody can improve.

This can be a good place to debate about this,m isnt it?

When you approach a girl never think that there is something bad you want to get from here. You are not going to receive... but to give. To make magic happens, to make that a nice girl meets you, knows you, to enjoy beauty and nice moments. Also sex, step by step. Please tell us your story to know you better!

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#415622 - 11/07/12 08:27 PM Re: Woman Problems [Re: COSC]
COSC Offline


Registered: 08/13/12
Posts: 63
Loc: UK
Hi Antonimm, thanks for your reply.

I was abused at the age of 7/8 by two women and I think, their boyfriends. It was a group abuse sort of situation.

Also, my father is on the autistic spectrum and has always had problems relating to us and could be quite cruel towards us. He would mock me about girls constantly just to make me feel bad, the more I felt bad, the funnier he found it. There was nothing light hearted about it. It was vindictive. I think it reinforced how bad I felt about the abuse I was covering up. So I grew up believing that finding and having girlfriends or anything sexual was very shameful and to be avoided at all costs.


Edited by Unknown1 (11/07/12 08:28 PM)
_________________________
The virtue of mental anguish... is the provision of strength and resilience each time clarity's reclaimed. For my success, I owe it all,
to that which stands in my way.

Top
#415671 - 11/08/12 09:24 AM Re: Woman Problems [Re: COSC]
antonimm1979 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/26/12
Posts: 12
Loc: Spain
Thank you for sharing dude. I can understand how difficult that had to be, and know I that I have to say that it is such a big movement that you want to improve in this subject.

Before going to the seduction subjects, I have to ask you if you are following some type of treatment. A cognitive behaviorist therapy would be fine. Taka care, we'll keep on communicating via the forum.

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#415792 - 11/09/12 02:07 PM Re: Woman Problems [Re: COSC]
COSC Offline


Registered: 08/13/12
Posts: 63
Loc: UK
I am not sure exactly the type of therapy, its not CBT, but its specific to CSA. I attend weekly. Think it is starting to work a little which is good.

What kind of techniques do you teach?

Oz
_________________________
The virtue of mental anguish... is the provision of strength and resilience each time clarity's reclaimed. For my success, I owe it all,
to that which stands in my way.

Top
#420878 - 01/03/13 07:17 PM Re: Woman Problems [Re: COSC]
hapati Offline


Registered: 04/06/09
Posts: 40
Loc:
there are a few good books on this topic - kenneth adams he is a psychologist. when he's married to mom and silently seduced.

i found them very helpful.

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#420880 - 01/03/13 07:18 PM Re: Woman Problems [Re: COSC]
hapati Offline


Registered: 04/06/09
Posts: 40
Loc:
hypnosis can also be a big help with this.

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#426942 - 03/02/13 12:53 PM Re: Woman Problems [Re: hapati]
COSC Offline


Registered: 08/13/12
Posts: 63
Loc: UK
Had not checked this post in a while.

Thanks hapati. I am going to google kenneth adams now.
_________________________
The virtue of mental anguish... is the provision of strength and resilience each time clarity's reclaimed. For my success, I owe it all,
to that which stands in my way.

Top
#427261 - 03/06/13 04:50 AM Re: Woman Problems [Re: COSC]
Dale Offline


Registered: 03/02/13
Posts: 1
Unknown1 I remember very clearly numerous opurtunities when i was younger i believe the term you used freezing. a woman i was attracted to but thought she would want nothing to do with me so i did not pursue this. (fear)(rejection) Somehow i think this all stems back to my youth when i was abused how it stunted my growth in the sense that i did not develope any confidence. i still nedd to work on this matter. hope you are doing well.
Dale.

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#427391 - 03/07/13 03:55 PM Re: Woman Problems [Re: COSC]
COSC Offline


Registered: 08/13/12
Posts: 63
Loc: UK
Hi dale.

I am doing ok, thanks. yeah, thats just exactly how it is for me. I think your right about our growth being stunted. Did things get any easier you you as you as you got older?

Take it easy

Oz
_________________________
The virtue of mental anguish... is the provision of strength and resilience each time clarity's reclaimed. For my success, I owe it all,
to that which stands in my way.

Top
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