I'm a 46 year old man ready to talk about my past. I was sexually molested from 12 to 17 by a man. I have hidden this because of shame and embarassment. I just can't seem to live with it any more.I am depirate to recover my lost life. My parents found out at 14 and ignored it. then they moved out when I was 17. I felt I had no one to turn to. I am looking for support and coping skills besides ignoring.I want hope again. I started therapy and am on antidepressants. Thanks for reading

Hey there-I'm so sorry to hear about your story. I was molested from age 9-16 by an older man here as well. I finally told my wife this week and still feel a great deal of shame.

If you ever see me in the chat room, please don't hesitate to say hi.

Welcome, searching!

you have come to a good place to find help, support, encouragement, info, and most of all - understanding.

we are all in this together.
lee

Thanks for responding. it's hard to reach out when so many emotions are running through you. I feel like I'm on a wild ride with a bad ending. This hurts so bad. I'm hoping for a good ending. Too many emotions running through me is making me want to shut down.

yeh - it's a lot to tackle all at once.
hold on until the "Sandy" moments subside a little.
then pick one piece of debris and try to identify it and decide what to do with it.
one step at a time.
and there is always someone here - either live or in their posts - that can help you get a handle on things.

breathe,
lee

it's just good to know there are people out there that are willing to listen and give advice from personal experiences.For now I think I'll just breath.

Hi, my fraternal brother, Searching,

Welcome to MS. Here you will receive compassion, understanding & hope, from your brothers (fraternal) & friends (in pain).

We all have been there. We have been into the depths of our soul & hell too.

We will hear your cries. We will help in your fears & share in your tears.

Be prepared for the emotional roller coaster ride of your life.

There are many guide books available either for purchase or available in your local library. Here are a few of them that might be of a help for you, besides a competent therapist.
Victim's No Longer, by Mike Lew.
Beyond Betrayal, By Dr. Richard Gartner.
Broken Boys/Healing Men. Just to name a few.

Here on site we have healing circles (HC) every Sunday & Wednesday evenings. It's by invitation only and it's in a safe room. Starts at 9pm Eastern time. Adjust for your area. There is chat open to all. Then there is private chat between the invited individuals. As you have seen these public pages & when you become a member then there is the members only forum.

Take advantage of your fellow brothers here, we are here for you.

So, my fraternal brother, Searching, wishing you well in healing, you are on your way.

"I will take that lost boys hand, and I will lead him from the depths of darkness, into the sunshine, forever into eternity." As he is me.

Pete..Irishmoose.

Thanks for the welcome. I never thought I would join a group like this, but now that I am here, it feels right.
I'll be going to the library today to find some books.
Dave

Welcome to the site Searching. I totally understand your story. My abuse started early and went on all through my childhood. I was on my own at 17 too. There are a lot of good people here, good resources too. I also suggesting finding a good Therapist. Mine has helped me a lot to first stop blaming myself, and to realize it was not my fault. I am moving forward in a way I didn't know was possible last year. Our stories are different in here, but we all understand the hurt. Glad you found us...

Hi Searching,

Welcome to MS.

I am glad you have found this place of healing and support.

I am sorry that your parents ignored what happened to you. Between their emotional abandonment of you at 14 and their physical abandonment of you at 17, I can only imagine how very alone you must have felt.

In addition to your individual therapy, there may be a group of male survivors run by your county rape crisis center. Services are at no cost to county residents.

There are several books you might find useful.

Abused Boys: The Neglected Victims of Sexual Abuse by Mic Hunter.

Victims No Longer by Mike Lew

I am certain others will share titles they have found useful. You can find these titles, and others here at the bookstore.

Take your time and look around. You do not want to trigger yourself by reading too many posts at one time.

At your own pace, read the boards and wander into chat. The lounge (chat) is open 24 hours a day though it isn't always populated.

We also have moderated chats called Healing Circles. They meet on Sunday and Wednesday evenings at 9pm eastern time and one on Tuesday at 19:00 UTC (European and African time zone) which translates to 2 PM Eastern US time zone. The Healing Circle on Tuesdays is scheduled to resume in January.

Again, welcome to MS.




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