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#415408 - 11/05/12 04:55 PM Bi-polar Wife
searchingforlife Offline


Registered: 11/05/12
Posts: 11
I'm new here, but I was wondering if any discussions on bi-polar partners has been done. I am trying to recover and am having great difficulty without my wife's support.

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#415446 - 11/05/12 11:35 PM Re: Bi-polar Wife [Re: searchingforlife]
RunningOnEmpty Offline


Registered: 10/07/12
Posts: 91
Loc: georgia
--


Edited by RunningOnEmpty (01/01/13 07:38 PM)

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#415471 - 11/06/12 07:15 AM Re: Bi-polar Wife [Re: searchingforlife]
searchingforlife Offline


Registered: 11/05/12
Posts: 11
Thanks for responding. You are right on all your points. She does support me, but in many cases, there are issues that set her off. We have met with a councelor and I am learning where to draw the line on how much I can share with her. I have been a calm man for 30 years, playing the victim. I am feeling anger now and sometimes it sneaks out uncontrolled and misplaced. Don't make me mad. You wouldn't like me angry. (Hulk Humor).
Dave

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#415476 - 11/06/12 08:51 AM Re: Bi-polar Wife [Re: searchingforlife]
CdnDW Offline


Registered: 08/24/12
Posts: 105
I love the hulk metaphor Dave. It's a good one for my hubby too. I have found that my H would be calm and not protest while inside was becoming more resentful and angry. It got to the point where I wanted to make him scream at me. Ultimately, he was denying me honest, open communication because every reasonable (and unreasonable) complaint I had was perceived as an attack. He found his power in freezing me out. With therapy he is learning to trust me and communicate his needs and I am thrilled. He is also learning that when I express a need, it is not something that he needs to feel guilty of shameful for not having already perceived and met.

I can imagine how hard it would be for you and your partner considering her illness. I hope you are in therapy yourself. Ultimately, your partner cannot help you with your healing. She can be a loving ear when able, but the true support and change will come from within yourself through therapy.

I also hope that you have some boundaries set in your relationship. She needs to learn to deal with her own issues With the help of a mental health professional. When you each completely own your own stuff, you will be less encumbered to support each other.

In the meantime, I am glad you found this forum. There is a lot of support and friendship to be found here... and the boundaries are intrinsically set by the fact that it is an anonymous online forum from which each of us can walk away from for a break whenever we need.

My best to you in healing Dave.
_________________________
I am not your rolling wheels, I am the highway
I am not your carpet ride, I am the sky
- Audioslave

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#415483 - 11/06/12 09:25 AM Re: Bi-polar Wife [Re: searchingforlife]
searchingforlife Offline


Registered: 11/05/12
Posts: 11
My wife and I do have a complicated relationship.Fortunately we are both in our own individual therapy. I have discovered that I'm a great martyr. I have learned to play the victim so well that is has become a big part of my personality. I have to admit that I have frozen out my wife many times. It's a bad coping skill that I hope to rid myself of. I don't know where this new path is leading me, but I feel I have no choice but to travel it. Damn you Sandusky.

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