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#415255 - 11/04/12 01:55 AM Nope.
Magellan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/31/10
Posts: 1363
Loc: California
I haven't got a fucking clue. I'm just a stupid little retarded duck that can't hear and can't see bumping retardedly into others with the daffy duck voice "Pardon me. Excuse me".

No connections to anyone, no ability to connect, and no clue as to what I'm doing wrong.

Fooled too many times to count. My heart is black.

I'm ready to die. God please take me.
_________________________
It's a heroes journey, and you are the hero.

-- I must remind myself that sugar is my enemy. I can't control my sugar consumption and sugar makes me mentally unstable. I'm reminding myself (because I forgot again).

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#415262 - 11/04/12 02:18 AM Re: Nope. [Re: Magellan]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3566
Loc: South-East Europe
Hey D,
you were more than successful ion connecting to many of us here, please take that into account.
Yes, it is terrible difficult sometimes to overcome our obstacles and negative self image... Sometimes all look just too negative frown
I'm sorry man. When I'm caught in similar whirlpool it hurts me to know that it is not that I'm doing anything wrong bur rather it looks like everything is just happening by itself. Hopefully many times other people are not at all aware of my negative thoughts, those are moments when I've been awaken and trying to move from my "head".
What makes you to move from it, can you think?
Walking in nature is doing wonders for me...

Pero
_________________________
My story

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#415264 - 11/04/12 02:27 AM Re: Nope. [Re: Magellan]
Lancer Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/13/12
Posts: 901
Loc: Florida
D -- You're connected to ME. PM me if u wanna talk about what's going on.

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#415267 - 11/04/12 03:43 AM Re: Nope. [Re: Magellan]
traveler Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3211
Loc: back in the USA
D - you are certainly not describing the man i know.

you are much better than you think.

i wish you could value yourself as we esteem, respect and love you.

lee
_________________________
We are often troubled, but not crushed;
sometimes in doubt, but never in despair;
there are many enemies, but we are never without a friend;
and though badly hurt at times, we are not destroyed.
- Paul, II Cor 4:8-9

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#415268 - 11/04/12 06:13 AM Re: Nope. [Re: Magellan]
Aptrick Offline


Registered: 06/26/02
Posts: 62
Loc: Nashville,Tennessee
I am nobody, I am nothing, but i know that you are constantly helping others with kind and helpful wisdom. I read the posts on the discussion board almost daily and you are posting in most of them. I am sorry for whatever has happened but please believe that THIS MOMENT WILL PASS. Your heart can not be dark; it couldn't hurt so deeply if it was. From those of us who still sit in the shadows, I promise you do connect and you do know what you are doing/ saying. The fault is on their side, do them the courtesy of letting them keep it.

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#415271 - 11/04/12 06:28 AM Re: Nope. [Re: Aptrick]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1369
Loc: New England
Originally Posted By: Aptrick
...please believe that THIS MOMENT WILL PASS. Your heart can not be dark; it couldn't hurt so deeply if it was.


Amen to that man. Please don't leave us.
_________________________
"When I was a child
I caught a fleeting glimpse
Out of the corner of my eye
I turned to look but it was gone
I cannot put my finger on it now
The child is grown, the dream is gone
And I have become comfortably numb."
Pink Floyd

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#415279 - 11/04/12 08:18 AM Re: Nope. [Re: Magellan]
Casmir213 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/14/09
Posts: 844
Loc: Northeast, USA
Magellan,

I'm sorry you are in such pain. You have people here who care about you. Please continue to post and let us know how you are doing. I hope that you can come out on the other side of this terrible pain with renewed strength and hope. You are worth the effort. Please believe that.

Caz
_________________________
I see recovery as a lifelong journey rather than a final destination, a journey, though, which can have many successes along the way.

WoR Alumnus - Hope Springs, OH, October 2009

My avatar is the farmhouse at the Hope Spring, OH WoR. It's a nice place.

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#415280 - 11/04/12 08:25 AM Re: Nope. [Re: Magellan]
Suwanee Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 630
Loc: Southeast USA
Magellan,

Right after I joined MS you posted:
"Welcome to the forum, and wow, you're off to a great start. Keep posting, keep asking questions, and I recommend reading a lot as well. You will discover a vast untapped reservoir of self knowledge by being here and interacting with us."

Please continue to tap this reservoir. It is here for all of us...newbies and veterans alike.
_________________________
You take a walk and you try to understand
Nothing can hurt you
Unless you want it to... R.E.M./Pylon "Crazy"


My Story: Cruel Summer

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#415322 - 11/04/12 08:11 PM Re: Nope. [Re: Magellan]
Magellan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/31/10
Posts: 1363
Loc: California
Sorry folks. I had a major PTSD episode when I wrote this. I appreciate the kind replies and support.

Trigger: Not hearing from someone I care about for a couple days. This has been a life long issue, and I don't know how to resolve it.

Thank you for the kind words and affirmative replies. I do appreciate them.

D
_________________________
It's a heroes journey, and you are the hero.

-- I must remind myself that sugar is my enemy. I can't control my sugar consumption and sugar makes me mentally unstable. I'm reminding myself (because I forgot again).

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#415416 - 11/05/12 06:09 PM Re: Nope. [Re: Magellan]
Letourski Offline


Registered: 03/15/08
Posts: 302
Loc: Canada
Magellan,

I have felt like that very recently. I developed strong feelings for someone last fall and when things fell through I was devastated. In hindsight, my feelings were toxic and I could not for the life of me let go of this constant need to hear from her. I felt so insecure when I didn't. My self image was in the dumps. I am still reflecting on the whole thing and trying to sort it out.

Not hearing from her triggers me, and hearing her trigger me as well. I am just afraid of my feelings ending up all over the place. Heal well bro.

Daniel
_________________________
I am the warrior.

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