One of my best friends is a united church minister which is ironic cuz i am an antitheist,lol. He came out to his congregation last week. I thought that was incredibly brave. He was not an abuse victim, but he talked about that issue. Boundaries. Like you said, maintaining the friendship trumps the attraction.
It doesnt matter weather why you are attracted but you just are. Its not unusual, str8 people are attracted to friends just the same, its just human. So you just have to keep in mind that he is not available and therefore off limits. The attraction however will continue, its ok. But as for SSA vs homosexual attraction, my understanding is sexual dysphoria is only diagnosed for men who are by orientation heterosexual where there is imprinting from the abuse but they dont have desire to have anything other than a penis fixation. Homosexual orientation is buy definitation SSA but wanting more, intimacy, bonding connection.
You are lucky to have such a great accepting friend. All my married friends love to go to house parties and watch one of the wives dance cuz she is really hot. They all nod and smile knowingly, and i am sure would love to do her in a second. Dude ur just being a dude.
The need for love lies at the very foundation of human existence. Dalai Lama
WoR Barrie 2011